Whats UP down South

While in town having dinner last night, I did a quick stopover at the supermarket again and bought my previously forgotten eggs. So now the egg dying is on again for tomorrow and the Easter Bunny will have the real thing to hide amongst the grass and weeds to be destroyed by the tiny little feet of the children in their haste to grab em up! I'm going to hide a few of those colorful goodies in my fridge cause last year I spent hours coloring eggs and didn't even get a bite of one.

The kinder terrorist is out of school today so we have plans to plant those trees that I've had for half a week now and haven't gotten to. The ad called them tulip trees and supposedly they grow up to 10 ft a year but I just want to see if they will survive the onslaught of farm chemicals, dust, droughts, wayward mowers, horse-sized dogs, and rampaging children. I wonder if the guarantee covers all that?

One year, I bought some perennial hibiscus and babied them until they gave birth to beautiful deep wine -colored blooms the size of dinner plates. For three years they faithfully came back and provided me with those lovely blooms. Then one Saturday, it happened. He was on his 11hp riding mower cutting the grass with a vengence and I allowed him to mow over the daffodils that had finally done their thing. Then I noticed the glads had completed their cycle too so I yelled over the roar of the mower to tell him that he could mow over the glads as well. Having forgotten, once again, that this man knows all there is to know about growing cash crops but nothing about flowering fauna (fuck, flora), I walked around to the back of the house. Ten long minutes later I came back to a scene so gory and heartbreaking that I went to my knees with a scream. He had just finished mowing down the last of my 3 hibiscus!! They were still blooming so nicely that it looked almost like a slaughter had taken place with the deep maroon bits of bloom amid the chewed up greenery! He noticed me finally, sitting in the middle of the yard sobbing and said, "what?".

My hibiscus bit the dust that day and never came back again and I'm still looking for replacements.