Monday, October 08, 2012

Selling Bibles

 Selling Bibles 
(If this doesn't make you laugh, just go ahead and close
  your casket!)

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very
  serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
  several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers
  from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for
  $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

  Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

  minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were
  likely capable of selling some
  But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always
  kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the
  minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away
  with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet
  with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the
  following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the
  minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our
  Bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my
  sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the

"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his
  hand..."You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the
  church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out
  his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28
  on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'

The minister
  responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional
  salesman and the church is indebted to you."

  the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any
  Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large

The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is
  this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
  suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one

Louie just nodded.

"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison.
  "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
  Bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister
  agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this,

Louie shrugged.. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know
  f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted.
  "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they
  answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis
  replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
  th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or---
  wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and
  r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"

Remember when the funniest jokes were
  the clean ones?
They still are!