Tuesday, August 31, 2004


Uncle Jerald is found!

I spent most of the afternoon in the company of two officers at the West Helena police department filing a missing persons report for my uncle. From my visit, I found out that:

Ft. Walton took the information from my cousins to file a missing persons report on him on Sunday evening but never actually ENTERED the information (still had not as of 2:30 p.m. today).

Jasper, AL police would not agree to filing a missing persons report because they claim he left on his own. (This I'm STILL trying to understand). The Alabama State Police had a "be on the lookout" for him but no official missing persons thingy.

Where was he, you ask?

In jail, in Alabama, in another county 30 miles from Jasper.

I seriously suspect that he was intoxicated and since I found out today that his driver's license had been suspended here, that probably didn't set well with the officers either.

I'm still mighty upset right now, since, had he not been in jail, and been released, where he could finally call his family to let them know he was ok, I have to wonder just how much longer that his family in three damned states would have been pacing the floors and worrying about whether he was still alive! Do you realize just how long 120 hours is when you don't know?

My uncle used to have a really high security clearance in the Air Force. At one point he monitored the calls coming into the White House. He retired from the Air Force an alcoholic, he's still an alcoholic, but dammit, his life is still worth something to someone.

The woman who was traveling with him just got out of a Texas prison. I wish the hell she was back there. I'm thinking that Uncle's daughters will be sure to make it known that she is unwelcome in their lives down in Florida so maybe she'll go wreck havoc somewhere else. Oh, and did I mention that this woman is the daughter of the Mayor of West Helena??

I do appreciate the efforts of the West Helena, AR police department. They took me seriously and they were prepared to file the missing persons report.

I also appreciate the Alabama State police for keeping an eye out for my Uncle and his truck.

As for the Jasper Police Dept., I hope that each of them finds out what it's like to wonder, and worry, and not know about someone they love for 120 hours. All it would have taken was for them to file the damned missing persons report for us to know that he was ok. They wouldn't.

Thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes. They worked!!

About my "cathead" biscuits

They're called "cathead biscuits" because they should be about the size of a cat's head. They should be somewhat round on top and not flat like canned biscuits. Do not cut them out of rolled-out dough with the rim of a glass or with any other implement as every biscuit recipe I've ever read said to do. Roll them into a ball with your floured hands then press them down a little when you put them in your baking pan. I smear a little butter on top of mine right before I pop them into the oven. When they're lightly browned on top, they're done.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Still Missing

The amount of time has passed so that my Uncle's kids could file him as a missing person. I was just on the phone with his youngest daughter in Florida and know more of the events leading up to this now and it's just so strange.

The woman who left with him on this move to Florida called on Saturday to say that my Uncle had not been seen since Friday evening when she left him at her friends house in Jasper, AL while she and the friend went to the store, and when they returned he and his truck were gone. This call caused the initial concern about his whereabouts. When my cousin (my uncle's daughter) called this woman on Saturday evening requesting more information, her story was that my uncle had taken some man to a bar and dropped him off and that man was the last anyone had seen him. Two different stories from this woman?

My cousin and her sisters and brother have relayed this information to the police in Florida and Alabama who have contacted the police here in Arkansas and the information they've gathered and have relayed to the family tells us that this woman he was traveling with and her friends have been in jail for drugs and other things and now we're all VERY concerned.

The police in 3 states are now involved in this so all we can do is continue to wait.

Late Night Phone Calls

I don't know about ya'll but when the phone rings after 10 p.m. at my house there's a 99% chance that it's not good news. Just before 11 p.m. last night the phone rang. My cousin Lisa in Alabama was calling to see if I knew anything about my Uncle Jerald's whereabouts.

It seems that he left West Helena on Friday or Saturday to move to Florida to live near his children in Ft. Walton. None of the family even knew that he'd left, only that he was considering the move. He had a woman with him of questionable character (who I'm currently trying to get some information on) and she called his daughter some time yesterday from Jasper, Alabama saying that he's missing. Noone has seen or heard from him so as you can imagine, it's pretty upsetting. He's 61 years old and not in the best of health. The Alabama and Florida State Police have been notified but we've had no word yet.

I'm sitting by the phone now, waiting for someone to call to say that he's alright.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Taking a bit of a break here

Bubbie, Jerri, and the Chick came today for Sunday dinner but I didn't overdo things today. I dug around in the fridge and had an add-to-the-leftovers dinner. I added more potatoes to the leftover roast from Saturday, more spagetti to the leftover spagetti and meatballs from Thursday, opened a can of baked beans, boiled some sweet corn, made a pan of "cathead" biscuits, and baked a boxed carrot cake. A dish of fresh , sliced tomatoes rounded that off and we managed to pig out purdy good there for awhile. Now I've got leftover, leftovers.

A thought crossed my mind to take a nap after they went home but my mother-in-law dropped in so that nipped that in the bud. I've got 5 gallons of tomatoes sitting in my kitchen ready to be peeled for canning and a dishpan full of butter beans to shell. I reckon I won't get my nap now.

I hope everyone had a FINE weekend!

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Pearls of Wisdom

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known and along with Mark Twaine, one of the wisest.

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. (This is my favorite)

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

Friday, August 27, 2004

School bus

Beginning Monday, if things work out, Zach and Miz Jessica from next door will be riding the school bus to and from school. Georgie (Jessie's momma) and I made this decision after just one week of fighting traffic (her to take them, me picking them up). We've got this new bunch of yuppie mommies who don't believe that any of the traffic laws apply to them and I'd really rather not be around when they cause a really bad accident. They also believe that they're the only ones who wait until the last second before the bell rings to drop off their offspring. They are wrong.

Anyway, since I'm more used to following slow-ass farm equipment and lack the constant ability to stop myself from jumping outta my truck to whip some uppity, traffic- law-breaking, Yuppie ass, I think the world would be a safer place if Zach rides the bus.

Mind you, I'm gonna miss the deep conversations with the kiddies on the way home.

Nanaw: How many bears stayed in their pocket today Zach? Zach? Zach?

Zach: Wait a minute, I'm thinking.


Jessie: There's this boy in my class who gets in my face and keeps saying, "do-it, do-it, do-it," and it makes me crazy.

Next time he does it, smack him on the forehead and say, "did-it, did-it, did-it", that'll shut him up.

Nanaw:(a few minutes later) Uh,,just make sure you don't get caught.

*********didja know that frogs can't survive a float trip in clorinated toilet water?

I Need Drugs!!!

I have two cousins who are having a whole hell-of-a lot more fun than I am about this being 50 stuff. Here is my cousin Hop's latest contribution to the torture.


Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer.

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number.

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

The Seven Dwarfs

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause arrived at my door without warning: Itchy,
Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and All-Dried-Up.

One by one they crept into my own private cottage in the woods and
started to take over my life.

The first to arrive was Itchy. I developed this
itch on my right calf that was so irritating, I wanted to scratch the skin
right off my body.

Then Bitchy came to my door. No longer was my PMS contained to one or
two days a month-- it felt like constant PMS. Then I would swing from Bitchy

Weepy for God's sake, what was wrong with me?

Ding-dong......It's the
middle of the night and Sweaty has crawled into bed with me.
Oh, yes, Sweaty brought embarrassing hot flashes and introduced me to
night sweats where it seemed as if a faucet had been attached between my

Of course Sweaty brought about Sleepy, because I was tired all the time.
I would wake up so many times in the night and not be able to get back to

Bloated crept in slowly, my once-svelte figure got thick through the
middle section, even though I was following my weight-loss program that had
worked so well for so many years!

I can't quite remember when Forgetful arrived, but one day my brain
stopped working. I considered myself a pretty focused woman until Forgetful
came, and I could not keep a coherent thought in my brain. Am I getting
Alzheimer's? I wondered.

Last, All-Dried-Up slowly encroached upon my comfortable marriage. This was
probably the most unpleasant of the dwarf family. Sex was no longer on
the top of my list...or on my list at all. My husband would give me that
knowing look, and I would think, "Frankly, I'd rather have a smoothie." "With a
Tequila kick."

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause! - What a family


I bought this the other day while shopping with Jerri and the Chickie.

My plan is to convert some of the photos of the grandbabies into greyscale and make a collage to put on the wall in the hallway. If it comes out the way I want it to, I'm going to do one on a smaller scale for Soony (Danielle) and take it to Holland with me. She told me she wanted framed photos of our family for a wedding present.

So, what do ya'll think?

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

If a police officer sees this

I'll probably be arrested just cause I look guilty of something!

I need to relax!

I wash my hair with Chamomile and lavender shampoo, slather and lather my body with lavender body wash, moisturize my skin with lavender body lotion, puff on lavender powder, and I still feel like I could bite the head of a horned billy goat with only the slightest bit of provocation. What am I to do?

Today I'm fidgeting and twitching over the fact that I must dress and actually make my hair look half-ass decent in order to meet a photographer at 11 to have my passport photos done. They are just photos for identification purposes but I would rather they turn out decent enough that, when viewed, they'll allow me into another country and back into this one. I really hate that they usually turn out looking as though you should be somebody's "Big Momma" in a prison yard somewhere. I've also got to renew my driver's license today so you'd think that they'd make an extra copy of that mug shot so that you could use it for dual purposes, but they won't. Dammit.

The last stop will be at the court house to send in the application for the new passport. That's not so bad except that I've got to give them money to go along with it. After all these little fees that I'll be paying out today, I'll be too broke to Pay Attention!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Three Little Bears out and running.

Only the little Red Bear is left in his lonely little pocket.
The Terrorist is grounded until the Bears go home.

But Dammit, I like Doritos!

But I reckon this image is going to come to mind every time I see a bag from now on!


Hubby is almost impossible to shop for since he normally buys his toys when he feels the urge to play, but he mentioned the other day that he'd like to go hunting with his brother and our son during bow deer hunting season. Since the season starts in October and he'll need time to practice, I decided to give him an early Christmas present.


I figure this will give the deer a fighting chance since I remember back when he decided to learn to use a compound bow. The only thing that got shot with that occasionally was the paper plate he had tacked onto a bale of hay.

Monday, August 23, 2004

I'm SO Behind.

I've been trying and trying to get around to visit all my favorite blog sites this past week and I am getting further and further behind. I have good intentions though so please forgive me if I'm slow of late.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Winding down my Sunday

It's been a pretty full day here in the 'burbs of L.A. (short for Lexa, Arkansas). I awoke around 8 a.m. to the ringing phone to hear my son's voice telling me it was time to get up when I answered. He was kind enough to bring breakfast fixins and Miz Jerri cooked it up when she got here so I had more time to sit with my coffee and vegetate. The Chick woke them up at 6:30 and was wound up and ready to play when they got here so after she got a tummy full of pancakes and scrambled eggs, away she went to the toy cupboard.

Hubby came in while breakfast was in progress. He'd gone on a pear foraging quest to gather some for his mom to make some pear preserves and pear honey for him. Zach and the chick went with he and Bubbie after breakfast to take them over so Jerri and I had some quiet time to continue to wake up a little more.

The decision was made after they returned to fry fish for a late lunch and Jami, Keith, and her kids were invited over so it wasn't long before the front yard was full of the family clan as PopPop cooked fish and the kiddies played. Before lunch was ready, one of hubby's cousins stopped by with his wife and one of their daughters and Jessie came over from next door. There was some fish snacking going on here for a while!

Now it's quiet again, the dishes are in the dish washer, and I've made a cake. Soon it will be time to hustle the terrorist in for a bath, then I'll get his clothes laid out so as to save time in the morning since it's the beginning of a new week at school.

I think I'm going to run away for a few hours tomorrow, just cause I can!

Saturday, August 21, 2004

The White Trash Look

We've spent a lot of time sitting out under the mimosa tree in the front yard this summer and today as Jerri and I were out there watching the Chick put on a show I looked around and noticed that it has "the white trash look".

There are:

2 bbq grills (1 charcoal, 1 gas)
4 bikes
1 Kid-size portable basketball goal
2 kiddy paddle pools
1 gas tank for a fishing boat motor
1 gas tank for the lawn mower
2 riding mowers (only 1 of which works)
1 push mower
Patio table (log chain and chicken wire on the table)
approximately 6 patio chairs
2 artificial turf covered boards that came out of hubby's boat
A kiddie car

I think it's time to clean up the front yard.

Friday, August 20, 2004

First Day of Second Grade

When we went to the Open House at school on Tuesday night, one of the things that Zach's teacher explained to us was her system of punishment for unacceptable student behavior. This is good information to have when harboring a terrorist. On the way home and throughout the evening and again throughout the day yesterday, the new second grader and I discussed the system in detail.

Nanaw: Did you see the cute little bears in their cute little pockets on the wall?

Zach: Yeah.

Nanaw: Did you understand what your teacher was saying about it being a GOOD thing to
keep all your bears in their pocket?

Zach: Yeah.

So you're going to try to keep all of your bears in their pocket, right?


Nanaw: It would be so great to go through the whole school year with your bears in
their pocket wouldn't it?

Zach: Yeah.

Yesterday when I picked Zach up from school I asked him about the status of his bears.

Nanaw: Well, did all of your bears stay in their pocket?

Zach: No. She pulled the yellow one.

Nanaw: Oh no, what did you do?

Zach: Wrote on my desk with chalk.

I can tell already that this could be an interesting year.

This is sort of what the Trouble Bears look like except they're supposed to all tucked into the pocket.

Yellow Bear won't be snuggling with his buddies again until Monday.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Happy Birthday Mark!

Getting wiser? We know older is better!

Ya'll head on over to see him and wish him a Happy Birthday!

What's wrong with this picture?

Specialist Brandon Erickson, a 22-year-old member of the North Dakota National Guard, had his arm amputated on the battlefield in Iraq in June 2003. In July 2003 he was flown to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C. for additional surgery. Just hours after he underwent surgery, he was informed that he would have to pay an $8.10 fee every day to cover his meals during his hospital stay. At that time, the policy, which came straight from the pentagon, applied to all military personnel, regardless of their circumstances.

This policy was only changed when Senator Barbara A. Mikulski (D-MD) became incensed at the injustice and she and one of her Senate colleagues attached a provision to a war appropriations bill to change it.

Now, lets consider the fact that if a member of the Armed Forces is killed, his widow is charged for her and her family's health insurance because the serviceman is considered to be "retired".

Families of service members killed in the line of duty can expect a one-time death benefit, that is paid to a surviving spouse, of $12,000.00 (tax free). This was increased this year from the previous $6,000.00 (partially taxed) benefit

My disillusionment with the U.S. Military only increased after reading this article in the September, 2004 edition of Good Housekeeping. These men leave their families to go fight for our Country's freedom and honor, so what in the hell is wrong with our Country having a little respect and honor for the families of the wounded and dead soldiers? At least enough to make sure that their families can continue to eat.

The last I heard, medals weren't made of eatable material.

First Day Back At School Update

The Terrorist only had to be urged twice to get out of bed and as he staggered into the kitchen for his Frosted Flakes informed me, "Nanaw, I'm in the second grade now, you don't have to keep telling me that stuff!"

With a couple of little prompts, he washed, brushed, and dressed and then settled down to watch TV until time to leave for school.

I wonder how long this'll last?

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

The Last Official Day of Summer Vacation from School!

I realize I'm mostly swapping one headache for another but

Yesterday I took Abie and Krysten to the doctor. Abie to get the cast off her arm and Krysten for her school physical. With Zach added to the mix, they were pretty bouncy during that hour that we were stuck in there. Then we stopped on the way home to buy groceries and it didn't take me long to remember why I used to keep my own kids contained in one grocery cart while pulling another to put the groceries in.

They spread out over a large area, nothing and no one safe in their path.

Abie, MeriKate, Krysten with their sitter Cheryl

I dropped the girls off with the sitter and had just enough time to throw together some supper before it was time to attend the Open House at school where I found that all those supplies I bought last week aren't enough.

Today I'll be taking Zach and Jessie (from next door) shopping/searching for the additionally needed school supplies.

Tomorrow begins the up at 6, wrestle with terrorist for an hour to eat and dress, back to school, routine. But then I'll have the day to myself!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I can't help it

I'm probably going to hell in a handbasket for thinking toons like this are so funny. But what can I say, they are!

And besides, I can relate.

Email from Jerri about a Chickie Day.

The Monday Chickie Story as written by Jerri with Nanny notes in brackets.

Dallas (Jerri's Neice) stayed with me today while mom and norm went to
the doc and we went to Storm Creek to play in the sand.
I didn't take her swimsuit because she never does anything
more than wade in the water but there were other kids
there today and she just bailed off in the water with
them. They buried her in the sand and she helped bury
them. She was having a blast!

The other kids were also having a picnic and their parents were
grilling and Little Miss Butt (AKA the Chick) just helped herself to
cookies and hotdogs..LOL. Then the other kids went in
the shower to rinse the sand off she did too..so
their mom loaned her a towel..ended up the lady worked
with dad in Forrest City but has been layed off.

She (the Chick) had such a good time..dallas had to run out in the
water 2 times to get her because she went under ON
PURPOSE!!! The kid is crazy!

Photos by Jerri 8/16/04

Monday, August 16, 2004


My boobs feel like two, huge mountains of pain.

My joints ache, and creak like an unoiled bicycle chain when I move.

I'm dropping everydamnedthing.

I'm tired enough to die.

I'm pissed off about mayonaise (the lack of actually).

I would cry but I haven't turned on the lifetime channel yet.

Someone has a birthday!

Ya'll go wish her a Happy one!

Happy Birthday Kim!!!!!!!!

sorry this took so long, blogger was being ugly earlier.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Chicklet Saturday

Nanny, aka, Nanaw spent the day with the Chicklets today. There were little cluckers running around everywhere off and on all day. We decided on a bird name during our play time. When Jami and the girls came this morning they brought their 8 month old pup and her name is Yan-na. Alexis would call her Ya-Ya, so since I like the books about the Ya-Yas, I decided that Ya-Ya would make be a great name for the bird.

What do ya'll think?

Nanaw is now going to climb into a tub of hot water and vegetate with lottsa bubbles.

Hope everyone has as sweet a day as I did.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Maybe I'm just stupid, but.....

New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey is planning on stepping down from office after more than 2 years of service, the New York’s NBC station is reporting. It appears that he was forced into admitting his homosexuality at a threat of being outed; reports suggest that he is facing a lawsuit from another man.

Last night I heard this announced on a radio station as we were going out for dinner, then this morning I was reading Jaye's take on it over at Winding Road. The first thought that came to mind about the news was, "What in the hell does this have to do with his ability to do his job?"

He's gay. So?
He is married and had an affair. Well, ok.
He's been accused of sexual harassment by the former lover who once worked for him. Now, that could be considered a problem concerning his position.

But don't we live in a democracy where people are still supposedly considered innocent until they're proven guilty?

What is it with people? What does one's sexual preference have to do with your ability to do your job? Is this a new area that needs to be added to your resume to seek employment? Hell, look at the amount of taxpayer's money that was wasted on digging up the dirt on President Clinton and the man still completed two terms in office. No matter how hard they tried to prove otherwise, his girlfriends did not interfere with doing his JOB people.

Should we include "Swingers" in our urges to discrimate? What about people who enjoy oral sex? The list could go on, and does.

Holy shit, I don't even know why one's sexual preference would even have to be KNOWN to anyone not directly involved in the activity of having sex!

I think one's sexual preference should be kept in the bedroom/livingroom/laundry room/back seat of a car, and kept out of the board room and off the 10 o'clock news!

But that's just my opinion.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Thursday P.S.

Mind you, I just discovered that today IS Thursday.

I've finished the tax return for the most part and now I await a return call from the client so I can listen to his sobbing over owing the government $5000+ smackers although I really don't understand what all the whining is about. They got twice that from us for 2003 and the only difference is the "donations" are taken out of our paychecks and we never even SEE the money.

Zach went home to spend the night with his mom. It took some persuasion on my part to convince him that it would be fun to spend an evening playing with his little sisters. He had this "I don't know so much about this" look on his face when he left and I was trying to hide my elated grin.

I called hubby and informed him that he was taking me to the casino for a shrimp supper since we're child-free for the evening. I'm sure that's gonna cost me 10 minutes or so in the sack to show my appreciation but sometimes a nice seafood dinner is worth the effort.

I'll let ya'll know if the shrimp is good.

Busy Day

I've got to finish a tax return today cause their extension runs out on Aug. 15th. Whothehell knows why they waited this long to file their business return (they just got the stuff to me yesterday) but I'd better get on it.

Be back later.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

What IS the world coming to?

It ain't right and you know it ain't right when an 86 year-old man is arrested with meatloaf takeout in hand. I wonder if they'll show photos of the NYC officers who claim Wallace disrespectfully "lunged" at them.

Now, I'm all for obeying the law, and I appreciate our Law Officers, especially the fact that they put their lives on the line for us.(And there's one good lookin, corn-shuckin detective in Iowa who's the greatest) But really, does anyone else see something wrong with this NYC incident?

NYC Mayor to Probe Arrest of Mike Wallace

NEW YORK (AP) - Eighty-six-year-old CBS newsman Mike Wallace - arrested and cuffed after a confrontation with taxi and limousine inspectors - wonders why anyone thought he was such a threat. So does Mayor Mike Bloomberg.

``Why a man in his 80s was so threatening that they had to arrest him when they normally don't arrest anybody certainly gives you cause to ask the question,'' Bloomberg said at his daily press briefing Wednesday.

``Why he'd have to be handcuffed and led away, or whatever happened, I don't know, but you can rest assured we will be looking into it.''

The dispute began as the ``60 Minutes'' correspondent was leaving Luke's Restaurant late Tuesday after picking up a take-out order of meatloaf, Wallace said on WFAN's ``Imus in the Morning.''

Wallace saw two Taxi and Limousine Commission inspectors interviewing his driver, who they said was double-parked. ``I asked what's going on, and they kept telling me to get back in the car,'' he recalled. ``Then they arrested me and took me to the 19th precinct.''

Wallace was released after being issued a summons citing him with disorderly conduct. He's due in court in October.

On Wednesday, Wallace told Entertainment Tonight: ``I sat there for an hour or so and they (the police) said, 'OK, we know who you are, we know what you do, we have no problems with you.'

``I would call this a comedy of errors, but there was no comedy,'' he said. ``So I went home, put the meatloaf in the microwave and it was superb.''

The inspectors saw it another way, saying Wallace approached them and became ``overly assertive and disrespectful,'' interfering with their ability to perform their duties.

The inspectors said they asked Wallace to step away from the car, but he refused, and lunged at one of them, TLC spokesman Allan Fromberg told The New York Post.

``I'm an 86-year-old man,'' Wallace told the Post. ``For whatever reason, this guy and his buddy were intent upon telling me that I was interfering with the execution of the law.''

Fromberg told The Associated Press on Wednesday the agency was investigating the incident but would not comment further.

08/11/04 18:19

Life is All About ASS

you're either covering one,

laughing one off,

kicking one,

kissing one,

busting one,

trying to get a piece of one,

or behaving like one.

another great contribution from Indigo!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

For Sure!!

I just had to share this little bit of wisdom sent to me by my friend Indigo.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:

If it has tires or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it.

Women's rest room
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas ,

New webshot album posted!

Out of the Mouths of Babe's

My almost 3 year old granddaughter, Jaylen, has been learning the Pledge of Allegiance.

It absolutely amazes me how much they can learn at such a young age. Her rendition of the Pledge is as follows:

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.
Thank you, you may be seated."


Monday, August 09, 2004

My apologies for being slow.

I've been surfing my favorite blogs and wondering where the hell everyone was since Thursday. I was beginning to think that some big, green, blogger-eating alien had attacked everyone but me and I was alone in this cold, cruel cyber-world. Then I was lucky enough to catch Special K on IM and mentioned my worries to her about her lack of posting. She told me that she HAD posted,,,WTH? So I go back to her site once again and hit the refresh button and there's the new post.

I've been trying since then to catch up on what I've been missing by refreshing at everyone's site but this is going to take awhile. I wanted to apolgize to everyone for thinking that blogger SHOULD EVER BE WORKING NORMALLY.

I'm happy to know that noone was really attacked by a big, green, blogger-eating alien!!

Sunday, August 08, 2004


There are no words to describe beauty. It just is.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Another Lazy Saturday

Didn't I just have one of those?

The Ladies, Alexis, Jordan, Jaylen, riding the alligator.

The Terrorist - His innocent look.

Friday, August 06, 2004

I know all the famiy gossip now.

I've learned much more than I needed to of useless family information today.

Cousin Sherry and her hubby are looking at property around Mountain View, in the Ozarks, for a future second home. This is because the cousin doesn't want her daughter to attend a biracial public school when she reaches high school age. I had to ask just what exactly this had to do with getting a good education. Aunt Freda didn't elaborate on that.

Cousin Vicki is now living in Lonoke. I believe this to be the 3rd or 4th move for her in 4 some-odd years. I reckon she feels that she just doesn't get the job recognition she deserves? Or something. She's the medical expert with an LPN license. (yeah, I asked about that too.) But,,hey,,wait,,I forgot to ask Auntie if Vicki is still even working.

Cousin Glen is still broken-hearted over his failed marriage but has recovered enough that he's found a suitable girlfriend and is living in California.

Auntie didn't say much about Cousin Dwight, he's confined to a wheelchair and doesn't provide her many events about which to gloat.

Uncle Emil (Aunt Freda's husband), Uncle Norris, and Aunt Marion told me they are doing fine, when they could get a word in to say anything.

Zach's still pissed because our "company" kept him from being able to go to Jerri's house to swim with Jordan.

And Nanny's ears are ringing and she's in a grumpy mood from having to be so damned socialable today.

How was everyone else's day? (Don't answer that Jerri. Btw, who got to eat my grilled burger?)


I had my day planned, it's not that I've been overwhelmed with plans lately so geez! But last night around 8p.m. the phone rang and at first I didn't even recognize the voice on the other end. It was my mother's sister, my Aunt Freda. She called to tell me that she would be here this afternoon and would be bringing my Uncle Norris (mom's brother) and Aunt Marion with her for a visit.

I adore my Uncle Norris and Aunt Marion, but Aunt Freda and I are from two completely different species. I reckon I asked for this because I didn't attend the family reunion last weekend.

Now I have this icky feeling in my stomach this morning.

I think it's dread.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Afternoon Surprise

I won't be returning to my previous position with the tax company I've worked for the past 4 years because they are going to do all the preparations in the West Memphis office this next year. West Memphis is a 65 mile drive, one way, so I told the owner there was no way I was making that commute every day. Earlier this week I sent a short resume in to another company that has several offices in the town I was previously working in and also in another that's near the same driving distance from where I live.

One of their execs called this afternoon and asked me if I was interested in a teaching position with their company. He also told me that he believed me to be more experienced than most of the preparers they had working for them and wondered if I'd consider working for them during tax season if we could agree on the salary.

ME? Teaching? This is scary!

I told him I'd have to give it some thought and in the meantime, he could be working on some salary figures. He wants me to interview later this month. I'm not looking to go back to work full-time and I don't believe this would be full time, so,,,,,

What do ya'll think?

No Angels on Thursday

That weren't no Angel in that turbo-powered ag plane diving at my roof this morning before 8 a.m. Had to be old Satan himself. I hope he goes home to find his fire's gone out while he was up here tormenting me.

A Thursday funny

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Those bastards killed my 'Maters

But dammit, they didn't kill the melons. How's this for a canalope?

Monster Melon 2 weeks ago.

Monster Melon today after hubby picked him. He's all peeled, sliced, in zip-lock bags and ready for eatin as I type this.

Today's Funnies Rated X

I thought these were too funny not to share with my fellow bloggers. No offense meant.

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he decided to go to the doctor.

He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day, the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.

At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position.

The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"


Ok, now I've got to get busy working on that list over there on the left.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

NOT laughing

They're going to get me for child abuse if the terrorist doesn't let up!! I was in his room to put some clothes in his closet and I saw these two screws laying on the futon. I said to myself with a glance around the room, "Self, where in the hell did these come from and why are they laying here?" I didn't see pieces of anything laying about so I took the screws with me when I went back to the front of the house and dropped them on the kitchen counter in case they were of some importance.

About an hour ago, I was headed into the utility room and saw Zach darting into his room from my little office. Warning lights flashed and I followed him in, just in time to see him trying to hide a screwdriver.




Then the grilling began. I felt like a police officer during a suspect interragation except that I knew my suspect was guilty as hell. I witnessed the weapon of distruction in his hand, did I not?

Evidence matters not to 7 year old boys apparently cause it took a good 30 minutes to get him to break down and tell me where the hell he'd removed the screws from.

Guess who's spent the last 30 minutes putting the screws back into the electric receptacle covers in 2 rooms? And WHO KNOWS the reasoning behind removing them!!

I'm just not as quick as I used to be.

Still laughing
Ya'll need to mosey on over to see those girls in Mississippi and read about the Crappy Date and Tough Love entries.

From the Past

I decided to follow along behind Martigras and blog the old fashioned way. Only my entry is from a couple of years ago and this was my journal entry then.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Ya'll gotta take a gander at this!

Click the Great White Shark link then follow the directions. Get ready to duck!!!!

No Fountain of Youth

I thought I'd better post this photo of my "just out of bed, trying to wake up, 50 years and one day" look so as not to have confusion over the lovely photo I posted yesterday of my daughter-in-law, Jerri with my adorable son. Not that I'd think any of ya'll were confused or anything, but I really don't think I could survive an ass-kicking from Jerri if you were confused.

So here ya go. See what you have to look forward to?

I woke up this morning cause I felt a hand on my hip giving me a gentle shake. I opened my eyes and noone was there. Doncha just hate when that happens? I think the Chick must have left one of her guardian angels here yesterday. One who thinks I'm being lazy broad if I sleep till 8 a.m. (I forgot to mention some little circles of transparent light that sometimes appear in photos that Jerri takes of the Chick).

I hope that angel doesn't make a habit of this.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

The weekend

Last evening I had previously intended to go to a wedding but I decided about mid-week that I really didn't feel like going so instead I watched the Chickie and Jordan (my oldest granddaughter) so Jerri and Bubbie could attend the wedding in peace (also Bubbie was part of the wedding party.

Those kids had a ball! The Chick thinks she's every bit as big as the older two and she was wound up last night. Jordan and Zach were really good to play with her as much as they did, they pretty much let her rule the roost.

Saturday, cooling off in the Chick's wading pool

Jerri and Bubbie at the wedding reception

Today I slept in until after 9 and then muddled around the rest of the morning. The only thing I cooked today was 3 boiled eggs! Jerri, Bubbie, the Chick, and Jordan came and made me a delicious birthday cake and we sat outside under the Mimosa tree and watched the kiddies play.