I swear sometimes I need a keeper.
I made it to the Baptist Medical Center about 45 minutes early and got lost in the damned thing. My appointment was in Medical Tower II. Now I'm not stupid, I know II comes after 1, right, doesn't it? Well I drove around and around that complex and finally decided that it had to be there somewhere, there was a 1, so II had to be nearby.
Wrong!
5 uphill blocks later and there it was. Of course the 2 hr drive and the hike had me desperate to find a bathroom, so I rode the elevator to the 6th floor office and asked the receptionist where the bathrooms were. She told me that they were renovating and I'd have to go back to the 1st floor lobby to use the facilities. So I go back down and wander around down in the lobby until I found the bathroom. By then the world probably knew I needed to pee cause I had that "knees together, afraid to breath, fucked if I cough" look.
A quick pee and hand wash later and I found the elevators again to go back up to the 6th floor. I didn't have to wait in the reception area for very long but after I got back in the examination room I waited so long that I fell asleep. When the doc finally did come in, I shook his hand while wiping drool and sleepy eyes with the other hand.
Anyway, I drove 2 hrs and hiked hell and a half acres to find out that the test I'd been sent to have couldn't be done with good results on me.
Are you ready for this?
I couldn't get the scheduled test done because my boobs are too big and he said they often don't get accurate readings in these cases. "Oh but that's not a big problem", he said, "we'll just schedule a more reliable stress test for the 24th." I just stared at him for a minute, then told him I don't LIVE in the neighborhood and if he scheduled the appointment then he'd better be on time to do it after I drive all that way again.
2 1/2 hrs later I'm finally on my way outta there. I decided to dig in my bag to find my keys before doing the downhill hike and I couldn't find them. I sat down and took several deep breaths and started thinking back to when I knew I had them last. I went to the reception area, then to the lobby, then to the bathroom, backtracking. I finally stuck my head in the door at another office and asked them where their lost and found was. It was in yet another building so I hiked over to check with them. They had them, thank God!
At least the 5 blocks back to my truck were downhill, AND I damned well know where Medical Tower II is now!
Gotta go trick-or-treating here soon, Zach and I are going with the Chickie. Anybody wanna come along?
Happy Halloween!
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