While sitting on the pot for a quick tinkle yesterday, I spotted toothpaste on the bathroom carpet and in trying to remove it I began to think of things I've learned from living day to day over the years. From time to time I'll share some of these great brain bubbles with you and would greatly appreciate having others share theirs with me.
Also, I hope that by writing them down, I won't forget
and fuck up by having to relearn them.
Life Lessons I've Learned:
1. Dried toothpaste would make a good substitute for cement.
2. My mom was right, your difference can be split. Proof of this comes from icy steps in the winter.
3. Your wet tongue WILL stick to a frozen metal ice tray, AND the skin will eventually grow back on your tongue.
4. God gives us children as a way of punishment for all the bad things we did as children and thought we got away with.
5. There is safety in numbers. At the very least you will have someone to cheer you on whilst getting your ass whipped.