Whats UP down South

Once, a long time ago, I was discussing age with a friend. I don't remember ever being young, I've always felt older, so when I turned 40 my friend asked me if I felt "over the hill". My honest response was that I had finally reached the age that I'd always felt I was. I don't remember ever having the same thought processes as people my own age until I turned 40. I was always more comfortable and more in tune with people who were older than I was. Ok,,now on to the real story.,,,

I have one cousin who for the past 32 years has lived near me. She was about 11 when I was born so was a teenager when I was in grade school. Since my marriage (many moons ago) she has always called me for advice about things. This sort of stunned me at first because, hell, who am I to give advice?? Then after pondering it for a bit, I decided that it was this age thing again. Maybe she sees me as an equal, you know? (damn this could get deep!). Anyway, what I'm leading up to was an incident that happened last week.

Judy's husband died as the result of an accident almost 3 years ago and this past year she has been overcoming her grief somewhat and is dating again. About 3 times a week she stops by or calls to share her experiences with me. Last Friday she came by the office and brought breakfast and settled down to chat about this guy she'd been seeing but had decided not to see again. I'm sitting there sipping my coffee, responding with occasional hmmms,,while letting her do her venting.
Suddenly she says, "AND do you know what he asked me?" I responded with, "what"? She said, "He asked me if I did head, and I asked him,,what? He told me what he meant and I said OH HELL NO!!". Folks, let me give you a warning, DO NOT have a mouthful of coffee when your 59 year old cousin tells you something of this nature. I spewed coffee across my desk, splattering client files, computer screen and the floor beyond. Then I laughed so hard that I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom for fear of peeing on myself. Throughout all of this she's sitting there,,saying, " What?, What'd I do?"

After I calmed down a little and could look at her without laughing, I told her that it was "give head" and that oral sex was pretty much a common thing these days. I'm still in awe at how innocent she is in the midst of the times we are living in but oh well, she's got old nanny Brenda to lean on and educate her during these puzzling instances (still laughing).