Thursday, May 08, 2003

My oldest daughter, Trish, just lives a couple hours drive away. I try to get away to Little Rock as often as I can to see her, but it's never as often as I want to. It has been over 2 years now since she could come here, to my house, for a holiday or just to visit. I have to go to her grandmother's to see her when she comes home.

She fell in love with a young, useless, Negro man when she was a senior in college and later had her daughter, Jordan (who is now 5). It took awhile, but I finally cried and threatened enough that she was allowed to come home for visits. Then, she made the decision to have another daughter, Jaylen, with this still useless, man. At this point, my husband remains unforgiving and refuses to allow her to come home. I'm tired of fighting with him about it. I can't make him understand that even when I don't like or approve of the choices my children make, I can't just stop loving them. What hurts the most is what this does to the babies, that they are being hurt by the actions of stubborn, stupid adults.

I also do not think he realizes that his stubbornness has led to the loss of the love and respect I once had for him. I would love to have my children all at home again some day. It might just have to be a family day without him.

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