MORE goodies from Timm!
Hilarious Random Thoughts
By "Real" Women!
Skinny people tick me off! Especially when they say things like,
'You know, sometimes I forget to eat. You have to be a special
kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.
She had 14 kids, but she doesn't care.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about
nothing (and then they marry him).
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are
eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too
fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older
than 20 can fit into their stuff.
Here is a Great reason to Smile:
Every 7 minutes of every day,
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while...
and it shrinks two or three sizes!
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff,
eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money,
and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free...
You either married it or gave birth to it.