Whew,,,finally a little bit of ME time!
For a couple of years when my kids were making the transition from teenage know-it-alls to young adults who know a bit less, I tried to get away to spend a weekend with one or both of my sisters. It was right after our mother died so we really needed each other then, more than ever. I also needed the break from my demanding family and then stressful job. I called it my time to "slip off the chains and kick up a little dust". Most of the time, Terri, my youngest sister, and I would kick back with a few drinks on the first evening of my arrival, or if Paula, the middle sister, was in town, we three would gather and catch up. By late evening we would be giggling and feeling our cheerios and thinking of somewhere to go to finish up our night of drinking.
Several times we ended up in a little night spot in Jacksonville called The Splash, not far from where Terri lived in North Little Rock. It was near the Air Force base and open until dawn so it was a pretty happening place. We'd go in, find a table with a good view of the dance floor and spend a few hours watching the clowns put on a show. A night of boozing really can bring out the casanova in some of those old guys! We'd sit there and make bets on which drunk would end up with what by closing time (and believe me, there were plenty of drunks AND what's there).
One night, Terri and I were sitting there when this knock-out platnum blonde came strolling in. I noticed that she seemed to be working her way around the tables, talking to this guy and that one, but none of them seemed too comfortable about it. This dame had boobs out to here---------------> and was wearing an outfit to enhance them so I was genuinely puzzled. Terri must have noticed me watching the goingson because she leaned over and told me, "Brenda, that ain't a woman". I think my bottom lip hit my knee cause she started laughing and insisting that she wasn't bullshitting me, that in truth, this busty madam was really a madam wannabe. I remain unconvinced.
I had to know, so I did what any normal, need-to-know, red-blooded, Jose inflicted, female would do. When I saw the busty broad heading for the ladies room, I decided that I needed to go too. I had it all figured out, all I'd have to do was take a quick glance up under the stall and I'd be able to see which way her feet were pointed!!
Terri must have seen the insane gleam in my eyes as I had left the table to weave my way to the ladies room cause she was through that door right behind me, and dammit, the dame was coming out of the stall just as I was bending over to take a peek. Terri mumbled something and pushed me into a stall and said she'd wait for me.
Even now, knowing what an excellent bullshitter my little sister is, I'm not convinced that the dame was a man, but did ya'll know that when you drop a roll of toilet paper when you are drunk the darn thing will unroll some 50 yards of paper before you can catch the damn thing?