Origins of Vittles

Folks who live in the country, or maybe it's just we southern country folk, tend to look at food a bit differently than do folks who've lived in towns and cities all their lives. Beings that I've been a country gal for most of my life it's not uncommon for me to view a photo of a cute squirrel or a bunny with more than just a smile over their cuddly cuteness. I might also, upon occasion, have visions of this critter rolled in flour, pan fried, and smothered in gravy with a side of homemade biscuits. Now before you go all postal on me and threaten me with those PETA folks, or something, take a minute to think it over and you'll see why I can see cute little fluffy, furry things as a food source. Or just continue on and I'll get to my excuse for such loathsome behavior.

Close your eyes and get an image of Daniel Boone in your mind. He might be wearing a coon skin cap (which he didn't purchase from Cabelas by the way), hand sewn boots or moccasins, smelly jacket made from some animal's hide, and probably smelly himself due to there being no hot water and soap handy back in his day, and he's carrying this big, ole rifle.

Now, can you imagine this frontiersman standing in line to pay at the local Piggly Wiggly or Safeway with a cart full of shrink wrapped venison or rabbits? You can't do it, can you? That's cause our city dwelling citizens no longer have to forage for their foodstuff and therefore have put out of mind where their food might have come from. You see, in Daniel's time, if you were gonna eat meat, someone had to first go out and shoot, or trap it, skin it or pluck it, remove the entrails and head, then wash and cook it. Most of the time all that part was done by the lady of the house since the man of the house felt the most difficult job was hunting and killing it.

I reckon there's just a tad fewer of the civilized genes floating around in country folks blood because we sometimes still have those urges to eat the same things that our pioneer ancestors did and find the need for a fine meal of squirrel, wild rabbit, quail or doves, or fresh caught fish.

Just Stuff

My back is telling me that I bit off more than it could handle so far today so I'm taking a little break before getting back to tormenting it a bit more. I also have to get in the right frame of mind before 3:40 p.m. which is when the school bus rumbles into the driveway and deposits Zach with his back-pack full of homework. James told me the other day, by the time this child graduates from high school, I'm going to be the smartest Nanaw in the state,, maybe in the whole country!

I wonder if they give monetary prizes for that?

I started the day by going to town because I was nearly out of cigarettes, gas, and toilet paper. I made it home with 5 bags of groceries, including the cigarettes, and toilet paper. I hope I have enough gas to make it to the ball game tomorrow night. I think I will if I don't forget to stop to buy it while I'm in that direction, again.

Anyway, I loaded the bags in the truck and unloaded them at home and as I was climbing those 3 porch steps, with all 5 bags (cause I hate making a bunch of trips)I felt/heard this crunch noise in my back and a sharp little pain. It only lasted a nano second so after putting away all that stuff I decided that today was the day to move the computer, printer, and scanner over to the new desk that's been sitting and waiting in my little office since some time in March. I've also done a couple of loads of laundry.

Damn, I feel constructive today.

The back has stiffened up in definate protest now but so far is not paining me so much. I reckon it's just waiting until I try to get out of the bed in the morning and then it'll kick my ass.

I might mention that this office still looks like an atomic weapon exploded in here. Where did all this stuff come from?

Taganai

Translated, "TAGANAI" means "Moon Holder", and comes from a range of mountains which separate Russia from Siberia. After years of searching, Dreamcast Entertainment has brought the best acts from all over Russia to the United States for the first time to perform this perfect mixture of circus and theatre.

The shows true magic comes alive with it's mysterious acts and elaborate costumes all accompanied by a beautiful original musical score. TAGANAI's constantly unfolding story will make this the fastest 80 minutes you have ever spent in a theater.

I finally remembered to reserve tickets to take Zach to see this show over at the Gold Strike Casino on the 28th. I saw a preview of the show on one of the Memphis morning news programs and decided that this would be a great beginning of summer treat for Zach and myself. With gas prices as they are, it may be the only treat we have this summer!

Sunday Stroll

It wasn't too hot today, nor too cool, so Zach and I took a little stroll down towards a horse pasture down the road a piece. The air was fragrant with honeysuckle

and the wild flowers dotted the roadside nearly every step of the way.

We even came across some wild roses wandering down the ditch bank in a couple of spots.
Zach had just mentioned that we hadn't seen a snake when there he was, a big, old, nasty cottonmouth! Some folks call them water moccasins but we call those big, black water snakes, water moccasins. This dude wasn't one of our harmless moccasins. We could tell by his fearless refusal to move from his resting spot in a cool spot of mud and the stark white coloring inside when he opened his mouth to let us know we were intruding. I stood back a good 15 ft or so from him as I took these photos with shaking hands and the camera lens zoomed in fully.

Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Have ya'll seen this disney movie? We watched it a little while ago on dvd and I have to tell you that it was most entertaining, both the watching and the discussions going on during the watching. The special effects are absolutely amazing!

James: Man that lion looks real.

Brenda: That lion is real,,well,,I know the lion can't really talk but that's a real lion.

James: It's not real Brenda, it's computer made.

Brenda: It's real, it's just computer enhanced to make it look like it's talking.

James: I guess you think the centaur is real too huh?

Brenda: No, that's some dude in a costume but damn don't he look real,,even the ears.

James: I can't believe I'm sitting here watching a Disney fantasy movie.

Brenda: Well you are and it's good so hush so I can hear. Man but I'd like to kick that witch's teeth in....

James: Muttering

Brenda: We could be watching The Little Mermaid, I like it too.

Zach: That lion is real Nanaw and so are the beavers and wolves!

Nanaw: Yep, we know our stuff don't we Zach?

It's good to be back here

I would have stayed at the other place but this place has my history and I'm all about some history. I'm not going to delete #2 though in case I might need it again some day when I do another screw up.

Now I'm gonna see if this photo will post on here.


Here's Zach during their game Monday night. He looks almost professional doesn't he, except for being short.

testing

1 2 3

I can't get this damned thing to work

Is it working?

Poodle Skirts and Polio

Life seemed simple and innocent in the 50's, didn't it? Most moms stayed at home while the fathers worked and it was still safe to play outside all day and sometimes into the night without checking in at home unless you were hungry. I think many of us, the baby boomers, look back wistfully the simplicity of life back then but if you think really, really hard about it, was all of it really that good?

If you were an unmarried, divorced, or widowed woman back then you absolutely couldn't expect to be paid the same as a man even if you were fortunate to be hired to an equal position. The labor ratio for male/female was 5/2 and married women who insisted on working were considered to be less a true woman since they weren't available to care for their husbands as well as a wife who didn't work. Minimum wage was a whole $1 (that hasn't changed much).

Polio killed almost 12,000 of our children in the 50's before a vaccine was available nationwide to stop it.

Many families had bomb shelters and there were pamphlets distributed to tell us how to survive radiation fallout.

People of color had few or no rights and couldn't drink from the same fountain, attend the same public school, or sit in the same dining room as a white person. More than 50% of black families back then were below the poverty level.

Spousal abuse, including spousal rape, wasn't considered a crime.

Many human subjects, a lot of them uninformed minorities, elderly people, persons with mental retardation, terminal patients, and prison inmates were used in experiments involving radioactive materials which have led to today's treatments for cancer and for diagnostic tools. In the 50's these experiments weren't as strictly regulated by the US government as they are today.

I turned 5 during the last year of the 50's so I really only remember the carryover of many of these events into the 60's but I think life was probably better then because we never actually knew much about this stuff going on until we heard about it as adults. These days we're bombarded instantly with so much of the worst in the world that we're becoming immune to it.

For Days when you've nothing better to do,,,

It's too late for Easter but you might want to make a few of these for next Easter if you're a crafty sort.

I ran across this link and can't decide wheather it's a good thing or a bad thing that Skippy has agreed to serve and protect our country.

And if you're into games and guns you can go get your own terrorist or 2 or 3 here.

I hope everyone had a great day!

Contact Baseball

I've always thought of baseball as being one of the milder sports but add a bunch of 9 and 10-year-olds to the game and it becomes almost as wild and wooly as an NFL football game.

During the first game of the season one of our lads hit the ball and it went fast and furious directly into the eye of the other team's pitcher so he spent the rest of that game with an ice pack (and a headache, I'm sure). Last night one of our best players was sliding into second base under the second baseman and when the dust cleared he lay there with tibia and fibula broken a few inches below his knee. That was bad enough but his mom was sitting there 8 months and 30 days into her current pregnancy and I'm sure the accident was causing some major anxiety. She was already scheduled for induction today. I believe they were able to get them both to hospitals in Little Rock, he for surgery and her to have the baby.

That little baseball player didn't even cry until he thought about not being able to play ball for the rest of the season.

Busy April

This month has been so busy! Softball season started for Jordan and Jaylen, Zach started his ball season, the kiddies enjoyed their Easter, and the Chick had a fine performance in her dance recital.

Only one major event left for April when Abbey has her birthday on Wednesday.

I Like Beer

Not every day and not most brands but sometimes there's just nothing that'll quench your thirst or compliment a meal like a frosty, cold beer. I prefer to drink my beer from a glass (preferably frosted), although a bottle will do in a bind, but I don't especially like drinking beer from a can because it seems to have give it a tinny flavor that I don't care for.

Corona is my favorite beer and I especially like to drink it along with a spicy Mexican meal. It beats the hell of our sour cream for cooling the flames after a hot bite. There are some really fine Belgium beers too and I reckon a Beck is about as good a beer as they offer here in the states. About the only domestic beers I can really say I like are Budweiser Select and Miller light. Miller makes another that I tried at the Blues Fest once that tasted mighty fine but I don't remember the name of it right off hand.

Believe it or not, a beer or two a day can have health benefits too.

Did you know?

- Beer is nutritious if consumed in moderation
- That beer is fat-free and cholesterol free?
- Beer has a relaxing effect on the body thereby reducing stress.
- It can help you sleep better
- It helps prevent heart disease and improves the blood circulation
- It has proven to have positive effects on elderly people. It helps to promote blood vessel dilation, sleep, and urination.
An average beer contains the following:
0mg of cholesterol
0g of fat
13g of carbohydrate
25mg of sodium
protein, calcium, potassium, phosphorus and vitamins B, B2, and B6

Historians believe that the ancient Mesopotamians and Sumerians were brewing beer as early as 10,000 BC.

They also speculate that prehistoric nomads may have made beer from grain & water before learning to make bread.

The pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, instead of further south as planned, partly because they were out of beer. They found the Indians making it from corn and black birch sap.

Happy Birthday Jerri!!!!!

I'd sing to you but you know I can't sing!

Beam Me UP Scotty!

Collierville, TN, a surburbian town of Memphis, has decided to add a new law to the books regarding bumper stickers. It appears that the police there will be issueing citations for people who place offensive material on their bumpers. I'll be watching the news to see how they're going to go about deciding what might be offensive cause I get a tad bit upset when folks start in with the censoring bullshit.



Some people are going to take offense to just about anything at one time or another and I believe if it's bothersome to them they should not read, not look, not tune in to, the things they find offensive. I surely wouldn't expect anyone who found offense in redneckdom, the occasional swear word, or off-the-wall cartoon to visit my blog but if they do then they should take it in stride and don't start in with the bitching.



If you let THE MAN take away the little things concerning your right to free speech you might eventually end up being lined up against a wall and shot for saying "jack shit" some day.

I be plumb tired.

I mailed off the last tax extension on Saturday so the season is past, thank the Lord. There were only 2 extensions this year but I'll only worry with one of them some time between now and Aug. 15th cause I fired the other tax and bookkeeping client. I was mighty fed up with keeping her right with the government and then only being paid for my efforts when she got around to it. She always had some sort of dilemma going on, so I thought "dilemma this why doncha" and sent her a final invoice and my regrets.

Some folks still have this "Lady of the Manor" mentality when they ain't no lady and they have no manor, (or manners either for that matter), and she is one of those.

The other client, who's extension I filed, moved up to the wilds of SW Arkansas to live amongst the hillbillies but appreciated my work so much that they're willing to drive 4 hours to bring their stuff to me. Payment is never a problem with them, in fact, they're always trying to pay me more than I charge and you can never have enough clients like that.

Zach has his first baseball game of the season this evening. He'll be home from school soon and we'll wrestle with homework before time to leave for the ball park.
I'll be wagging my camera along with my old, trusty, camp chair, and tote bag full of other ball park necessities, so I hope I'll be able to take some great photos this season. He's gonna be all cute and stuff in his gray pants, gray undershirt, Arkansas razorback red over shirt, black belt and socks, and his gray hat. But cute aside, this Nanaw is also thankful that his uniform pants weren't white this year. It'll sure save some on spray-and-wash and my sanity. I am also thankful that his feet didn't grow enough to out-grow his cleats although his little legs grew 3 or 4 inches this year, I swear!

The kiddies had a great time at our Easter celebration and the girls looked so sweet in their little dresses. They scrambled all over the yard like a bunch of little ants hunting for those 100, mostly purple, cause Jerri mentioned liking that color, eggs. I think we boiled around 170 eggs on Saturday night but after removing the cracked ones to save for deviled eggs and the ones that got cracked later,,or eaten by PopPop and Daddy, they only hid about 100. I'm sure PopPop hopes they found all of them too cause those things can smell pretty ripe when you mow over one.

The Chick is learning her daddy's old ways. When he was a tot he told some enormous tall tales which his daddy encouraged because he thought they were funny and showed intelligence due to their imaginative structure. Anyway, the chick started out with, "when I was your age, my momma left me in a box at the park and I had to walk all the way home but a deer ate me on the way."

Egg Hunters, Good Vittles, and Homemade Ice cream

Just a few little things

Dear Mr. Whoeverthehellisinchargeofcustomerserviceandsatisfaction at this local Wal mart,

When a lady finally finds the "friendly" helper back in sporting goods after she's made 4 trips already, all special like, to see about whether ya'll have gray baseball pants, please ask him kindly if he'll refrain from giving a HUGE sigh for interrupting his conversation with an old school bud. I was determined today to find someone to ask about the availability of this item since on the previous 3 trips there was not a soul to be found in that department. It would also be nice if the "huge display" the young man spoke of were actually a display and not a box holding boxes of these pants stuck back in the sewing fabrics and notions department which has, in my opinion, not a damned thing sporting about it.

Sincerely,

The Wanted Poster Lady


Dear U.S. Postal Service,

I've noticed that along with the increases in postal rates that you insist you must have in order to provide us your services in a prompt and timely manner you are no longer occasionally taking longer than a man on a half dead horse to deliver our mail but managing to take longer than a one-legged man walking, and more frequently. I really do not believe that it should take 10 days for a first class letter to arrive at a destination that's 35 miles away. I'd also like to mention that Christmas card from the Netherlands that finally arrived after only 4 1/2 months. I suppose you had to wait for the winter geese migration for that delivery, huh?

Perhaps if you lit a fire under some asses,,,,,,,just a thought.

Sincerely,

The Irrate Postal Customer



Dear City of West Helena,

Just a note to mention the attempts to increase your city sales tax by another 2 percent and my intention to spend money on gas to drive an additional 15 miles to do my shopping if your attempts are successful.

Sincerely,

Tax Poor and Tired

# 1 Reason Old Ladies Should Not Give Birth.

A crawling baby can outrun you.



Jillian will fight with you over a pickle.

Wednesday, already?

You'd think with all the awakenings going on outdoors I'd be up and at em of a morning but in reality a couple more hours of sleep would help me to better appreciate the bird and bloom rituals.

Today I must do the grocery shopping that I've been puttin off due to my lack of enthusiasm about it. It wouldn't be nearly the dreaded chore if I didn't have to manhandle all those food items a numerous amount of times before actually consuming them. It tires me out just thinking about it. I can remember doing this chore in the past with toddlers in tow but I can't remember how I managed it. I do remember having to tell the cashier which items I actually wanted to pay for when we got to the check-out though, because my children were very talented at hiding contraband in the basket as we did our shopping.

Ahhh the memories.

Anyhow, the reason for the past recall is that I'm very thankful that the only thing I have to manhandle today is the food so maybe I'll have time to watch the birds and smell the blooms.

Oh That Hat!

Springy Weekend

The flowerboxes are planted, the garden is planted, James and Zach got the yard mowed and the sunflowers planted, and the Chicklets came over for a visit today. I also had a few minutes to edit some photos that Trish let me download from her camera the other day so I've happily exhausted and will shortly be ready to climb into a nice, hot, bath.


Our city girl ball players, Jaylen and Jordan.


I planted purple and white alyssum and irish moss in the porch flowerboxes this year.



I couldn't find the African Daisies this year (but I'm still looking) so I put Gerber Daisies and Irish Moss in the bottom planters. The Pink that's in one of the boxes is left over from 2 years ago and somehow keeps surviving the frosts. I figure if it's that hardy, let 'er bloom!


The Chick loves to play in the dirt!

Here are the photos of Jillian, Zach, and PopPop. I tried to put them up here but blogger isn't cooperating.

We keep dodging the bullet here.

Storms rumbled through the south again yesterday but this time the most severe of the storms were across the river in TN and MS. The death toll just keeps climbing in TN from the tornado strikes. I've lived most of my life in this part of the south and on several occasions I've within a quarter of a mile of where a tornado touched down but I've never actually seen one because we normally have so much rainfall during these bad storms that they're difficult to see unless one forms during the daylight hours before the rain begins. If I ever see one of those, I'll be sure to take a photo of it before I head for a safe hidey-hole. Since we also live in a rural area, there isn't as much damage to homes and lives as there is in the cities and towns.

For more information about this type of storm with some terrific photos.

Easter's just around the corner

I hear thunder

and the sofa is calling my name. Lotta noise around here but I don't think it'll keep me from getting another hour or two of sleep.

Catch you later if I don't get blown away to Louisana or somewhere foreign like that.

Not a good week

Wise Words

Tears from laughter do more healing than tears from sorrow.

When Jeffrey came for coffee Monday morning he told hubby that his brother-in-law had died on Saturday evening and then, with a smile, told him what had happened.

His wife's sister (a lady in her 40's) and her husband (a man in his 60's) had been separated since last fall and had been talking by phone and considering a reconciliation. Since she lived in NE Arkansas and he in Somewhere, Alabama, they decided to meet in Cleveland, Mississippi to talk things over. After a dose of viagra and 3 continuous hours of "talking", they took a 20 minute rest after which, he died. She proceeded with CPR until the paramedics arrived but nothing could be done to revive him. She told her sister of the horror and embarrassment of having to tell the paramedics what happened, then the police, and then having to also relate the events to a preacher who had been called on her behalf. After she'd told him everything he patted her on the back and said, "Well dear woman, at least he died happy."

That sweet, wonderful, man, a stranger, brought to light what everyone at the scene had been thinking and gave that poor lady a few moments of peace amid the tragedy.

Please keep Jerri in your prayers.

Jerri's step-father died on Saturday morning and she and her family are going to have a hard row to hoe over the next while as they adjust to life without him. Please keep them in your prayers.

The Sounds of Spring

The birds are a'tweetin, the frogs are a'singin, the tractors are a'chuggin, and the thunders a'boomin, the lightning a'flashin, and sometimes the tornados are a'twistin. Those are the sounds of Spring in the Arkansas delta.

Luckily for us, the past couple of years the majority of the tornado spawning storms have been tracking just north of us. Last night and early this morning there were some really terrible ones in NE Arkansas, the bootheel of MO, and in eastern TN. The news this morning says there have been lives lost and a great deal of damage but they're not sure how many or how much just yet. I think they were waiting on daylight to assess the damages.

Our worst storm came through around 1:30 a.m. and peppered us with hail for about 15 minutes. We know down here that hail is a good indication of a strong thunderstorm that can possibly spawn a tornado. Hail doesn't do so much damage right now as they haven't planted but a few acres of beans so far, but from now on, since the planting will be starting full force, a hail storm can wreck havoc in the fields of newly planted crops.

I'm going to venture out in a bit to see if there was in damage around here and visit a greenhouse in Lee county to see if I can find some African Daisies for my flowerboxes.

Are we ready to elect a woman for President of the U.S.?

During my lifetime there have been 10 different Presidents. Since there have only been 43 in all, I've lived during the terms of almost a 4th of them. (man that makes me feel older than dirt!) The first president that I had an awareness of was President John F. Kennedy and I still admire the changes he made in this country concerning equal treatment and rights for our citizens. Since his assassination we've been treated to a variety of leaders who, for the most part, did the best they could with what they had to work with.

Sometimes.

We've had the shysters, the actor, the peaceful and passive, the warmongers (you know who you are), and the whoremonger (I'll leave this last one in singular form but I really feel that more than one might have filled this description but only one was so shitty at it that he kept getting caught). Of the 10, I believe there were 4 who were married to women who'd have done a damn sight better job as president than her hubby (I'll leave you to guess which ones).

I believe, after all that nonsense, we're ready for a woman's touch in the Whitehouse and I don't mean for choosing the draperies and china (although being a woman she'd be able to handle those as well and without foregoing any of her normal presidential duties!) We need someone who will say, "STOP! WAIT! We need to pause to ask for directions here", and someone who'll be more responsible in decisions about which buttons to push and why because we know how men deal with these situations (think of vacations and the TV remote here).

There are possible facts about human nature and anatomy that would support the capabilities of a woman too. For one, men don't think with their whole brain or maybe it's that they don't think as fast as women do,,,I forget which it is,,,anyway, men have to stay focused on ONE THING AT A TIME or they lose focus. We know this is not so with women because we've been trained from the cave to handle multiple tasks. Ask any mother who's prepared dinner with a child on her hip while helping child 1 and 2 with homework, keeping one eye and ear on what the weatherman is saying on TV so she'll know what to dress the kiddies in the next day, and during which time, she has answered the phone at least 10 times. She'll know exactly what I'm talking about here.

For another, women aren't as quick to anger and kill as the male of the species. We've had practice with this as we raised our young to adulthood and kept them from doing irreversible harm to their siblings. And men fail to give the female credit for standing up and doing the right thing when the time comes, as any bully who ever dotted the eye of one her babies found out. Women are just better at making rules and having everyone else obey them, without bloodshed.

I've always believed behind every successful man is the woman who got him there, so yep, I believe it's time for the men to step aside (unless we need their muscle) and let a woman do the job. And get the credit for it!!

2 adults + 6 little ones = OUTNUMBERED!

Zach's bedtime is at 9:00 p.m. and I think Nanaw will be asleep before he is.

Help Wanted

FARM WORKERS NEEDED

Qualifications are the ability to complete an honest days work and show up for work every day. Must have SS card and photo ID or U.S. green card for employer to be able to fill out and keep on file the Federal government required, I-9. (Qualifications subject to change at the whim of the U.S. Government).

Benefits include hourly pay above the Federal minimum wage, housing and utilities provided, and depending on experience, guaranteed 40 hrs per week pay.



Tread Softly Mr. Bush.

Many farms depend on these workers because the U.S. government has made it much too easy for a portion of the labor force in rural areas to sit at home on their lazy asses and draw government assistance of one form or several. If they work it could possibly mess up their free ride.

There was a time when a man, and/or a woman, and oftentimes, their children, worked to provide a roof over their heads and food on the table. When did it become wrong to do this? The immigrants that provide much of the agricultural workforce seem to still have these work ethics while many of our government assisted U.S. citizens have no idea what a day's pay for an honest day's work is. They're job training seems to consist of how to get even more government aid.

I agree that we need to strengthen our borders and be more careful of who we allow into this Country, but it should also be made less expensive, and easier for immigrants, who's purpose is to work. I'm not sure how this might be accomplished but if all the suspected illegals are sent home, you might have to consider planting a garden behind the White House to grow your own cabbages because your staff won't be able to afford to buy them, if there are any to be had, at the grocery or farmer's market.

Oh, and one more little thought. Instead of sending more of our troops off to a foreign country that hates us with a passion, how about you keep them here to guard our borders where they'll at least be close to their families.

As I've aged I've learned these truths,,,

You can have a healthy sex life well into your later years.
Of course, that's assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked!

I'm very good at opening childproof caps -- with a hammer.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

It's too late for health food because I think I need all the preservatives I can get.

The most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once threw away.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Busy Day

I woke up at 7:30 this morning, told my bladder to hold on, then rolled over and went back to sleep for another hour before I got up and sat around for a bit sipping my coffee. As soon as my eyes were open enough I went into town to get the things I'd forgotten yesterday and then we spent most of the rest of the day outdoors with PopPop as he made a fine bbq.

It's been one of those days for jacket on,,jacket off,,jacket on,,,jacket off, nice enough when there was not a bitey breeze but when it did blow a bit, you needed something on your arms. It didn't keep the kiddies from having a great time though or us from enjoying a nice day outside.

Calf rope!

I give. I hope this look will see me through Spring or at least until I can find something else to wreck my brain with.

The tax company I've been working at for two seasons has lost a lot of clients this year to one of those "quick money" places who practiced some slightly illegal activities to haul in those type of clients so I told the owner a few weeks ago, if things didn't pick up I wouldn't be one bit upset if she didn't need me anymore this year. Even though things haven't been as busy as I've seen in past years, I really was having a hard time this year keeping up with my tax clients at home and working in town too. Maybe I'm just getting too grumpy at my age to handle the stress of it all because I surely did get tired pretty quick after putting in 8 or 9 hours at that job and then another few here at home in the evenings. Add helping with 3rd grade homework to that and you've got the formula for a real bitchy woman.

Anyway, I'm now down at the office in town for the year and hopefully with tax clients at home too so I can concentrate more on the bookkeeping clients I have and in getting this junked up office in some sort of order. I've got a new desk in here plus the old desk which I'll need to keep for the extra storage and loads of other stuff I'll have to find a place for. I'm a pack-rat so this could be an enormous job staring me in the face.

I'd best get back to paying the bills so ya'll have a great weekend!

I Give!!

I still wasn't satisfied with the previous template so I was tweeking away and I screwed it up royally. Maybe I'll try to do something with this one when I'm not so danged tired.

I'm Whining

I'm proud that the Memphis Tiger basketball team's efforts that have brought them so far and it's nice that they'll be playing UCLA. I hope they win. But I gotta tell ya, I'm sure cranky over missing CSI Las Vegas for the past two weeks because they're televising the basketball games in that spot. It just ain't right!

Dear Sir or Madam or Whomever,

Today I've finally had a free moment to write the check per your 2 requests and after having had to make numerous phone calls to Thomas Petroleum and my bank. After the calls, where I finally was able to reach the right people at the two previous named entities, your request was further delayed by my having to wait for them to do their research and to call me back.

Therefore, you will find enclosed a check for $23.93 made out to your company, Telecheck, to replace the check #6639 for the above amount that I paid to Barton Stop & Shop at Barton, Arkansas on or about February 21, 2006.

Please forgive me for the delay in this manner since I am not used to receiving strange phone calls from men with strong accents who I barely understand but finally figure out are asking for money and information concerning my bank account which there was no way in hell I was giving out! Since I knew, beyond a doubt, that there was sufficient funds in my bank account to cover the above amount, I was very surprised when your representative treated this matter as though it were my problem, because Sir, I'm not the dumbass that can't type in a routing and account number properly for an electronic transaction. I would also like to remind you, as I reminded the fine folks at Barton Stop and Shop, and their father company, Thomas Petroleum, I do business with them, not some foreigner, who barely speaks English, in City of Industry, California.

Now, I figure it took me about 1.5 hours to handle this matter for you and my time is worth $25.00 per hour this time of the year. So please consider this as your invoice for $37.50. This includes my time on the telephone to research this matter as well as the half a pad of sticky notes it took to remind myself to send this check. Please note that I'm foregoing the amount for the envelope and postage.

My terms are 30 days from the receipt of this invoice.

Sincerely,

Brenda (the pissed off and put upon lady in Arkansas)

Think You're Having a Bad Day?

Ok, so I have a morbid sense of humor sometimes. I'm still chuckling over a couple of these.

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died
in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had
something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve
the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m.
Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am.,
all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside
the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon
was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer
books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-
time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life
support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.
At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were being released back into the wild
amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen
shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy,
with some kind of wire running from his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from
the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy
plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening
to his Walkman.


Two animal rights defenders were protesting
the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse
in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke loose and escaped through a broken fence,
stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.



Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage
on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender"
stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was
blown to bits.

There now, Feeling Better????

Thank you Isnaina.

The template is beautiful even if I am too danged dumb to make the other 2 graphics work on it. This makes 2 nights that I've been messing with this html stuff and it fries my brain big time. (Yep, that's probably that funky smell you've been getting a whiff of.)

I'm past tired now so I'm gonna go warm my feet and try to think of something to write about tomorrow.

Tweeked

I've tweeked and tweeked, and cursed, and moaned, and I still can't figure out the code to fix this crooked danged template. It's driving me bonkers so I'm working on similiar one which could possibly be the one to put me in the straight jacket.

I wonder if they'll let me have coffee and cigs in one of those places for the insane?



Abbie is spending some of her spring break from pre-school with the Chick. Jerri told me about this conversation,

Abie: Jerri, I'm right handed.

The Chick: Momma, I'm wrong handed.

There are times when I think this child has a few of my genes.



I'm spending spring break with Zach and it rained all weekend, and Monday, so guess who else has been home the past 2 days? I told them last night I'd run away from home if I had somewhere to go! Sometimes a quiet, padded, room sounds like the ticket!

Whew!

And the template still doesn't look exactly as it's supposed to but the few brain cells I have left have thrown up their hands in surrender so I'd best leave it be for awhile. I might also mention that MUCH of the template code was in Indonesian so it was hell figuring out what stuff might be.

There's a link to the site I borrowed the free template from down at the bottom of the sidebar somewhere if anyone wants to take a look.

How's everyone's weekend coming along?

Sroll to the bottom (insert swear word here!)

WTF is up with Blogger? Why are the posts ending up at the bottom of the damned page when I haven't changed a diddle damned thing in here? Why is the earth round? Why are my feet cold when tomorrow's supposedly the first day of Spring? Why is dealing with Blogger issues like pulling nails with my teeth?

Spring is springing

I know this because of all the farm equipment that has been slowing me down this week and also because of what my camera has been seeing.

Here's the story

It seems that Bubbie was the "acting" Lieutenant, the acting part due to the fact that his rank is Sergeant, and they had 2 or more hoe squads working with officers over each squad. The Lieutenant's job, I believe, is to ride around and check on each squad. Anyway, the inmate ran and the Sergeant of that hoe squad told him to stop and when he didn't he shot at him. Bubbie noticed a highway department truck sitting beside the highway with it's lights flashing and knew they couldn't allow the escapee to reach the truck so he started chasing him on his horse and rode beside him so he couldn't escape in the truck. He also knew that there wasn't anywhere else he could go at that time so when the inmate looked up at my son and said, "Just shoot me Sergeant Mallard" he made an instant decision not to shoot the man. Bubbie said the guy wanted to die and he didn't want to be the one to oblige him. The Major ended up hitting the guy with a truck because Bubbie couldn't get off his horse with his weapon. He was sent to the hospital and he'll live but will be sent to the Maximum security unit and more time will be added to his sentence.

The whole incident was over in a matter of minutes but it took hours for all of the officers involved to be interviewed by Internal Affairs and to write up the reports. There will also be more inquiries into the incident.

I'm glad noone was killed or hurt too badly.

*********************************************************************************

On to better things...

I had a yard full of little girls today who were so busy playing that I bet their Mommies won't have a bit of trouble getting them to sleep tonight. And Zach got his report card today. He made 3 C's but it was MUCH better than I expected it to be so we're almost smiling about it here.

And more good news! My oldest daughter, Trish, bought her first new car yesterday. She's always had used cars until now and she's about to burst with excitement! She also told me that Jaylen and Jordan are already practicing ball so there'll be some busy days ahead for Trish. She'll be breaking that new car in right off.

Just a note before bed

I'm breathing a short sigh of relief after hearing the news third hand, then finally from a quick phone call from my son, that a prisoner attempted to escape today and my son had to make a very difficult decision as they were apprehending him. I'll know more when Bubbie has time to tell us everything about it but he did not have to shot the inmate and he's very thankful that he didn't have to and his Momma is very thankful that her son is safe.

Consistent I ain't

After a balmy 80 degrees yesterday we awoke to a nipply northerly 45 degrees this morning and for once I was up and at em (heck, I had to keep warm somehow). I was dressed before 7, had a stack of stuff loaded into the truck by the time the school bus fetched the kiddies at 10 past, and was on the road 3 minutes after that headed to Poplar Grove to pay bills for the Improvement Dist. before I had to be at the tax office at 8. I'm proud to say that I was only 1 minute late.

Things sort of went downhill from there.

I managed to finish up a tax return that had been sitting on my desk for a few days waiting for more information and it wasn't a busy day so things were going well until I had to move my truck and the office owner's car so the lawn folks wouldn't toss a rock through a window. I don't have one of those new fan-dangled keyless locks on my truck so I was toting around 2 sets of keys as I moved the vehicles. When I moved my truck I guess I thought I was holding my keys in my hand as I hopped out and shut the door. I wasn't, they weren't mine. Dumb, dumb move.

I have an extra key that I keep in my purse but for the past year or so, and 3 locked keys in truck instances, I haven't actually remembered which purse that key is in. I had to call the "fella that saves stranded women who lock their keys inside their vehicles" to come and use his tool to open my locked door. He thinks this is so amusing that it's with a sense of dread that I pick up the phone to call for assistance.

Then,

It wasn't enough that I had to work Monday which was supposed to be one of my days off and had to go in early today as well. It also didn't help to get the news that the reason I had to work Monday and go in early today is NOT COMING IN AT ALL THIS WEEK because she's milking this bug she has for all it's worth. (I'm not being cold-hearted here, just take my word for it, my aggravation is justified).

Then,

Zach came home with a discipline slip. It seems he used inappropriate language during reading lab so he was sent to the principal who took away two of his recesses this week. I asked Zach what was said and he told me the teacher heard him say that Michael had farted. I told him the next time Michael passed wind he should not say he farted but it would be perfectly ok for him to mention that Michael had flatulated, but only as a warning to others. I then signed the note and in the remark section I asked which language he inappropiately spoke. I'm not sure I spelled it right but if I get a reply, I'm sure it'll be because they'll feel they need to correct me.

I'm gonna need a day off to find that extra truck key, dammit.

Changing,,,a little

It’s been said that the only thing constant in life is change. People change, circumstances change, things change. Change can be small, big, subtle or sudden. Sometimes it’s a breeze, other times it’s a painful process. Change may be a choice we make, or it may be imposed on us. A new job, getting married, starting a family, moving house – these are examples of life changes we may experience. Some people view change as a positive challenge, others fret and agonize over the consequences of new situations. Few of us deal with change without feeling unruffled but I don't deal with it well at all. Change makes me grieve and I've been doing some powerful grieving lately.

My husband made a remark to my son over the weekend that I'd changed over the past year or so, and he didn't feel that it was for the good. I've given this some thought today and have to agree that I have changed but it's taken more than a year, and I feel it's all been for the good, for me, even though I feel I've had to fight for every inch I've gained and it's most often been a very exhausting. I have not, however, changed enough and I don't expect I ever will because I still have this part of me that will always keep the feelings of others and their needs in the forefront but I don't think I'm allowing them to step on me quite as much as I once did and that's the part of change that's not to their liking.

I think the biggest change I've made is my decision to let them know, by action or inaction, that I want to feel valued, that what I feel and think is as important as what anyone else feels and thinks even when they disagree. There have been many references to my bitchiness of late but what the hell, it's now or never, right? I have my doubts that there's another half century left ahead of me to wait for the respect that I feel I deserve. They can like it or not cause I'm getting fed up with being last most of the time dammit!

Ok, I'm done bitching now.

Word dribbles

Not a whole hell of a lot of anything has been going on around these parts so this'll be a post full of odds and ends.

Jerri sent me some of the cutiest photos the other day so I thought I'd share a few of them here.




***
On Thursday there was about a 20 minute span of time when I considered taking refuge in the bathtub in Zach's small bathroom but after James came in the back door, without my knowledge, and spoke right behind me as I was staring out at the storm, I was so near scared to death that a little storm with a big wind didn't bother me so much anymore. I did have to make a quick trip to the bathroom but it wasn't for hiding out in the tub for protection.

After the hurricane force winds died down and the rain stopped making rivers of my front yard, we had a look around at the damage. One lawn chair was in a tree on the north side of the field, another was stuck on a garden post out back, the trampoline was about a quarter mile across the field, the bbq grill was dumped over and several feet from where it had been, we lost a few shingles, and the underpinning in the front was slightly wacked, and the wooden gym set was on the ground and in pieces. The neighbors lost a few more shingles than we did and lots of their stuff was blown across hell-and-half-acres. I do believe that was the biggest wind I've ever been in and the weatherman said they reached over 80mph. I won't argue with him about that.
***
In a weeks' time, Jillian went from cautiously scooting backwards on her tummy to crawling all over the place like she's been doing it her whole life. She's also pulling up and her mommy says nothing is safe from her busy little hands now.

***
Zach had baseball tryouts today so it's that time again. He'll know in a week or two which team he'll be playing on and then the practices will begin so I'll be needing to drag out my old camp chair and get our tote bag packed so we'll be ready for a new season. I keep telling myself that this'll keep me young at heart but some days my heart doesn't agree.

***
The supper dishes are calling my name so I'd better go before they start breeding or something in there. Ya'll have a great weekend!

Welcome Jessie Herman Eugene Klinkenberg!!

Jessie was born March 3, 2006 to his proud parents Danielle and Eric! Congratulations to the new Parents and welcome to the world baby Jessie!!

More Southernisms

We know how to speak the proper English down here but I reckon we hafta sound the way we do for it to go along with our life style,,laid back and slow to anger. All things move slower in the south, so it's only proper that our language is spoken with a slow drawl.

Every so often I like to post a few words just in case a yankee might want to practice before making their way south.

a- A prefix added to the present participle to make it purtier, e.g. "Abe's a-workin in backer t'day; Ma's a-talkin to you, son!" (see also agwine, agonna; acoming, aworking, etc.)

Aggravatin- a. Bothersome. Etymology: Citified English aggravate meaning "make worse".

Airy- pro. Any but only singular: "You got airy (a) coon dog left?" Antonym of nairy.

Allow- v. To concede, grant, suppose, figure, expect. examples: "I allus allowed he'd hafta git mared."

Awl- a. Ever damn one. Damyankees spell it "all".

Bidnis- n. What you get down to or stay out of other people's, as in, "That ain't none a yore dad-burned bidnis!" (Southerners don't like "s" before "n", do you?).

Booger- n. Nose stuffing; a rascal, as in "Come here, you little booger!"

Booger man- n. Something or somebody that'll gitcha.

Cackleberry- n. Egg. Go figure.

Caint- v. aux. Can not.

Catty-corner(ed)- a. Diagonal.

Cattywampus- a. Askew, awry; not straight.

That outta be enough for you to waller around on for a day or two if you're of a mind to. Ya'll have a good day now, ya hear?

Just a glimpse

I think I've written about this at one time or another but here it is again.

When I was around 10 or 11 I was running through the house chasing one of my sisters and ran knee first into the head of a nail that had worked it's way out of a door facing. My mom says she's not sure if the pain was so intense that I couldn't catch my breath and just stopped breathing and fell to the floor or if I stopped breathing when my head bounced off the floor after I passed out from the intense pain, but either way, when she reached me I wasn't breathing.

My only clear memory from the incident was running through the house, and then suddenly being in the most beautiful garden I could ever have imagined. The grass was tall and lucious, the trees a deep, calming, green, and there were flowers everywhere, as far as I could see. I felt totally and completely at peace. I could hear my mother call me from far off and I remember thinking I wish she'd hush and go away. Then just as suddenly, I was lying in the floor, having my teeth shaken out of me by my mother. I had a sore knee and a knot on my head for a few days but no lasting effects from my injury, the nail didn't even break my skin.

For years I never told anyone about the "garden" part of the experience but one day I read a book about near death experiences and realized, "Hey, that happened to me", and later on I asked my Mom about that day and told her what I remembered about it. She just said, "Well, you never know." I know I'll never forget that place I visited for those few seconds and if that's what is waiting for us on the "other side", then we surely have nothing to fear from death.

Meme: Five Weird Things

Joe tagged me.

1. If something's out of my sight it's out of my mind and lost to me.

2. I don't remember dreams unless I'm sick and then I have very vivid nightmares.

3. I believe in life after death because I'm quite sure I've experienced it.

4. I don't care for steak

5.I'm afraid to throw things away for fear they'll be needed later.

I'm tagging Paula, Cassie-b, Cal, Cindra, and Virginia Gal.

The rules:

Once you've been tagged you must make an entry that contains a list of 5 Weird Habits of Yourself. When you are finished, you must tag 5 other people by listing their Xanga ID in your post. Then you must go to their Site and make a comment stating that they are tagged and have them come to your site for the rules.

The Flu Bug took a bite outta me

and as soon as I get to feeling just a little better I'm going to bite that little beastie back!

Since a week ago Thursday, when I took Zach to the doc, I've had this pounding headache but figured it was due to the stress of wrestling with a sick youngun. When it didn't get better I decided it was the added stress of the man getting sick. On Wednesday the hacking cough started, on Thursday the cough got worse and the muscle and joint aches started and I felt feverish. I couldn't even lay down to sleep cause the coughing and aches were so bad. I went to work Friday but after an hour I came back home. Finally, yesterday, Saturday, I went to see the doc and told him to give me some relief or shoot me. That man loves torture and had a nurse in there with a needle full of some anti-viral stuff telling me to drop my drawers before I could blink twice (it hurt to blink too mind you). A rootbeer sucker and a couple hundred bucks lighter and I was on my way home to sleep sitting up in my chair.

I still feel like crap but I think I'm gonna live now.

Hope ya'll are having a better weekend!

Why,,I'll swaney!

I don't know what that means but my grandmother used to say it when she was indicating surprise about something. Anyway,,my surprise, or lack there of, concerns these

Strange Patient Chart Notations

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. (HA!)

The skin was moist and dry.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (My favorite)

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. (double HA)

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. (Ya think?)

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. (Sounds like my family doctor)

The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family in no distress.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. (Hey, those are my symptoms!)

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. (Ok, I laughed out loud at this one)

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. (Not a good think I take it?)

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

I know I'm going to Heaven,,,,

because HELL is living 1 week with a sick 9 yr old and living through day 3 with an ill 54 yr old (today) man with the temperment of a 9 yr old. If he doesn't feel better soon I may become an accidental widow.