Dear Mr. Whoeverthehellisinchargeofcustomerserviceandsatisfaction at this local Wal mart,
When a lady finally finds the "friendly" helper back in sporting goods after she's made 4 trips already, all special like, to see about whether ya'll have gray baseball pants, please ask him kindly if he'll refrain from giving a HUGE sigh for interrupting his conversation with an old school bud. I was determined today to find someone to ask about the availability of this item since on the previous 3 trips there was not a soul to be found in that department. It would also be nice if the "huge display" the young man spoke of were actually a display and not a box holding boxes of these pants stuck back in the sewing fabrics and notions department which has, in my opinion, not a damned thing sporting about it.
The Wanted Poster Lady
Dear U.S. Postal Service,
I've noticed that along with the increases in postal rates that you insist you must have in order to provide us your services in a prompt and timely manner you are no longer occasionally taking longer than a man on a half dead horse to deliver our mail but managing to take longer than a one-legged man walking, and more frequently. I really do not believe that it should take 10 days for a first class letter to arrive at a destination that's 35 miles away. I'd also like to mention that Christmas card from the Netherlands that finally arrived after only 4 1/2 months. I suppose you had to wait for the winter geese migration for that delivery, huh?
Perhaps if you lit a fire under some asses,,,,,,,just a thought.
The Irrate Postal Customer
Dear City of West Helena,
Just a note to mention the attempts to increase your city sales tax by another 2 percent and my intention to spend money on gas to drive an additional 15 miles to do my shopping if your attempts are successful.
Tax Poor and Tired