ROFLMAO!

The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio
and his wife was in the house, in the kitchen.
The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle
and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear.
The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass
patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found
her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle
laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to
the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly
large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to
the street to direct the paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the
hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some
papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.

The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come
home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and
the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the
bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing
the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband
laying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering
burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again
ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at
the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and
began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs
to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked
the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the
paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and
dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his ankle.
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