Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Country Life Lessons

Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences need to be horse high,
pig tight and bull strong.

Life is not about how fast you run,
or how high you climb,
but how well you bounce

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt.

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered,
not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

To know how country folks are doing,
look at their barns, not their houses

Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal,
it just ain't helpful

Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls
sleep with one eye open

Forgive your enemies.
It messes with their heads

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow

Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat

Don't corner something meaner than you

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar,
assuming you want to catch flies

Man is the only critter who feels the need
to label things as flowers or weeds

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge

Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug

You can't unsay a cruel thing

Every path has some puddles

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty

The best sermons are lived, not preached

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens

Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters

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