Country Life Lessons
Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high,
pig tight and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run,
or how high you climb,
but how well you bounce
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered,
not yelled.
Meanness don't happen overnight.
To know how country folks are doing,
look at their barns, not their houses
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal,
it just ain't helpful
Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls
sleep with one eye open
Forgive your enemies.
It messes with their heads
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow
Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat
Don't corner something meaner than you
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar,
assuming you want to catch flies
Man is the only critter who feels the need
to label things as flowers or weeds
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge
Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug
You can't unsay a cruel thing
Every path has some puddles
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty
The best sermons are lived, not preached
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens
Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters
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