Sunday, August 24, 2003

My favorite quotes by women.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. **Carrie Snow

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he
can't. *Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the
* Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
* Charlotte Whitton

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack
me at once.
* Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
* Catherine Aird

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being
hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
* Erma Brombeck

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. You are now properly prepared.
Author Unknown

My deck early this morning.

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