MICKEY MOUSE: Died of venereal disease after visiting multiple prostitutes because Minnie said "No" for 50 years.
DONALD DUCK: Served as a main course at Epcot's China Pavilion.
PLUTO: Caught by dogcatchers, put to sleep after he was never claimed.
GOOFY: Assassinated during first term as President of the United States.
SCROOGE McDUCK: Died in extreme poverty after being audited by the IRS.
HUEY, DEWEY AND LOUIE: Involved in an underground child pornography ring.
CHIP AND DALE: Extracted from Richard Gere's colon.
SNOW WHITE: Fell for the "apple trick" again.
DOPEY: 'nuff said.
SNEEZY: Died of pneumonia with Jim Henson.
GRUMPY: Executed after gunning down 15 people in a local McDonalds.
HAPPY: Killed by insane gunman at a local McDonalds.
DOC: Was sued for malpractice, lived the rest of his life living under bridges and eating out of used cat food cans.
SLEEPY: Never woke up.
BASHFUL: Now a stripper with the Chippendales.
MARY POPPINS: Shot down over Iraqui airspace.
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN: Male prostitute, died of a heroin overdose.
WINNIE THE POOH: Had a heart attack caused by a cholesterol level of 570.
PIGLET: Gunned down in a mafia hit.
RABBIT: Died of an aneurism while watching over his garden.
EEYORE: Committed suicide.
TIGGER: Accidentally bounced off the edge of a cliff.
PETER PAN: Christopher Robin's lover, committed suicide in despair.
TINKERBELL: Caught by some kid who forgot to punch holes in the lid.
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