Friday, July 02, 2004

The Root of All Evil

Dear Uncle Ralph,
The local preacher says beer and money are the root of all evil. He says that beer and money break up marriages...especially when money is used to buy beer. Is this true. After watchin all my huntin buddies, I think beer is the reason most marriages happen... and it's the reason for havin kids runnin around the house. Am i right or is the preacher just tryin to keep me from havin fun again?
Cork screwed again,
Raymond

Dear Raymond,
I almost never disagree with a preacher. I figure that they got an inside track. But , the good book don’t say that the money is the root of all evil. It says that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. I know, I checked.

So this leaves me to wonder, if I love money, but have none, am I still evil or just broke? Cause if having money is evil then I am a saint. But the good book does have something to say about beer. You should look this one up – it’s that important.
Hezekiah 9, verses 1-3

Yea, it is better to drink not the fruit of the hops lest your loins defy thee. A woman of lesser beauty oft becomes the lust of thy heart and the lust of thy heart begat children. Again I say to drink not the fruit of the hops and avoid strong drink lest thy children also cometh with lesser beauty and thy sins shall find thee out on the countenance of thy sons.

Let me translate: Don’t drink Buckhorn (or any other beer). If you do you’ll end up with an ugly woman and have ugly kids.
I wish I had read this 30 years ago.
So your observation is also correct. My advice to you is: listen to your preacher. He knows.
Uncle Ralph

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