Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Laws of the Universe

I've learned a few of these over time by trial and error, mostly error.

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't.
--Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
-- Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
--Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.
--Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
--William's Law

Machines should work.. People should think.
--IBM's Pollyanna Principle

The most ineffective workers shall be moved systematically to the place where they can do the least damage.
--The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
--Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
--Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
-- Cannon's Comment

The newer the carpet the greater the likelihood that the bread will land jelly side down.
-- Law of inevitable consequences

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