Larry The Cable Guy: My grandma just recently passed away, at 104 years old. That right, but they saved the baby.
to Jeff
Larry The Cable Guy: So I go to the flower feller to get her some flowers, and a card up 'ere at the flower feller.
Jeff Foxworthy: Wait, wait...
Larry The Cable Guy: So I go in there...
Jeff Foxworthy: No, wait, wait, you bought a CARD for your dead grandmother.
Larry The Cable Guy: They had 'em there.
Jeff Foxworthy: I know I'm gonna regret this; what did it say?
Larry The Cable Guy: Get well soon!
Recounting his arrest record
Ron White:,,,And one DWI, which turned out to be a bogus charge, because it turns out they were stopping every vehicle that was traveling along that particular sidewalk. And that's profilin', and profilin' is wrong!
In the lost luggage section of an airport
Bill Engvall: She said, "Can I help you?" I said, "Yes ma'am, you lost my luggage." She looked me right in the eye and said, "Has your plane landed yet?" "No, princess, I'm having an out-of-body experience! I'm just checking on it! Here's your sign."
His definition of redneck
Jeff Foxworthy: A glorious absence of sophistication. It can be full-time or part-time, but we're all guilty of it at some time or another. And if you're not guilty of it, then you have relatives who are.
I'd never heard of Ron White before watching this dvd but I will be looking for some more of this stuff. He's a hard drinking, smoking Texan (who does both on stage btw), and he pretty much renewed my belief that some Texans can actually be funny.
No comments:
Post a Comment