Friday, July 11, 2003

Hmmmmmmmmm,,,I could use several of these.


BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending spree.

MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to
such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked

ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering
preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by
enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you
couldn't wait till they moved out.

PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves

DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing
enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer.

FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage
and the urge to flip off other drivers.

JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your
birthday, anniversary, or phone number.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone
too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as
nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it

DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8hrs!

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