Thursday, August 04, 2005

Stir Crazy

I believe I need to have more contact with the adults of our species because I’m just not getting out enough without at least one child in tow. I do have fears about it though ,,, I'm afraid I am severely lacking in adult conversational skills because I don't think Sponge Bob and Dora qualify as current events. I suppose I could start a conversation over lunch about the new animated Tarzan 2 movie. Think that would work? There was one time this summer that I was so desperate for adult conversation that I spilled my guts to a telemarketer that called and HE hung up on ME!

There have also been quite a few times lately that I've come to doubt my parenting skills at this age. I'm rediscovering that shouting to make a child/children STOP is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results. I have resorted to desperate measures, like when the kids are fighting, I threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.

I also feel quite inadequate in the housekeeping department. In one of the bathrooms there is toothpaste on the light fixture, water at least 2 inches deep on the floor left over from a kid throwing stuff not meant for the toilet IN the toilet and from their baths, and a dirty fingerprints on the shower curtain . Oh, and I forgot, at least one complete suit of clothes owned by the child who refuses to use the bathroom unless totally naked. Every time I hear Martha Stewart's name I cringe and want to do a swan dive into that basket full of dirty laundry that seems to breed in the utility room.

Hubby has mentioned several times that the peas, tomatoes, and green beans, needed picking and it was all I could do not to jump up and throttle him. I think he must have noticed that glazed look in my eyes because he come indoors today with 2 cucumbers that he'd picked.

I think I'd like to be alone just long enough to begin to feel a little lonely but as it is, I can never even go to the bathroom alone without someone screaming outside the door even though you've told them not to bother you unless it's an emergency. Their idea of an emergency and yours are not the same. I feel it's an emergency if bleeding is involved. The bleeding should be on site though and not from someone on TV. The ringing of the phone is not an emergency either and it makes me feel sort of naked to have a phone conversation from the tub, even if the caller can't see me.

Images of a tropical island with hunky waiters carrying little, potent, drinks with umbrellas are floating through my mind. This could be a sign of insanity.

Did I mention that it's just 16 more days until school starts?


Cal said...

Sounds like it's going to be a long 16 days, Brenda! If it makes you feel better there are still four weeks of the holiday to go here!

Cindra said...

I am all for throttling the man who mentions picking veggies, but let's put things in perspective. When those children get older they will not remember the toothpaste residue, or the fingerprints, they will remember their "nana" and how she was always there for them and loved them. I would try and sop up that water though... it could create a blood letting situation....or you could send "the man" in there in the dark and see what happens.

Tazzy and Piggy said...

2 cucumbers, eh? Is there something you're not telling us, dear?

Sally said...

And, see I'm just the opposite. I left the fingerprints of little Ella on my patio door for weeks because I enjoyed remembering her visit. But, hey, I can relate to wanting adult conversation - the only adults I'm hardly ever in contact with are those hillbilly neanderthals (sp) that come through my line at the store. I hear everything from cursing on their cell phones to their life's history (if they're not ON the phone!) I SEE so many tattoo's and body piercings that when I come home I just want to take a hot shower and plop.

So, when do you want to do lunch? :)

Tine said...

hahaha I would have slammed the cucumbers against his ears like I would play the cymbals rofl

Brenda said...

Cal that did not make me feel better, but thanks (grin).

Cindra I sure hope their memories of me won't be of that crazy old lady in the nut house!

Piggy and Taz I'd rather eat em,,thank you very much. (grin)

Miz Sally How's Aug. 19th sound to you?
Tine Did you notice the guy standing 4th from the right? Imagine the screams if he were to have a wax job? hehehehehehe

Special K said...

Hrm...I think you need a vacation where I had a vacation. When I win the lottery, we're so going.

Brenda said...

Special K And I'll be so packed and ready to go!

Mary Lou said...

a bit too many grandkids around right now? awww you love em and you know it!!

CJ said...

Yikes! Do you need some ALONE time or what?

Sounds like Grand Central Station around your house... I admire you for being able to deal with it all & have a ounce of sanity left. ;)

Every time I hear Martha Stewart's name I cringe too. Out here in the boonies in my neck of the woods, we don't have all the facny stuff like Ms Martha does. We actually have to do dirty work & take out the trash. I just bet that if Ms Martha has ever taken out the trash, it was while she was in the POKEY. (Ooops! Did I say that?) ;)

I wonder if Ms Martha ever has to worry about a hospital or doctor bill? Or if her car will start, of if she has enough money in her checking account to buy something frivolous. I doubt it.

Anyway, back to your insanity with everything going on... Hang in there, look on the bright side... the weekend is coming! :)

Mark said...

Reading these confessionals is like peering into an alternate universe.

esther said...

The only thing worse than your fate is the same thing......but you with a broken leg. Do I hear school bells ringing?......:)

Barry said...

Well I guess that explains why I haven't had a chance to chat with you lately. I hope the load lightens one of these days so we can chat again. I miss ya. Some good adult conversation just might bring your sanity some where near the normal marker again.

wanda said...

Dear Lord, I am SO there with you!
I have had six people cooped up in a house that was meant for three maybe four. The eat like horses, nobody wants to cook or wash dishes. Forget about getting a bath, a shower is all that there's time for before someone has to pee, or worse.
I need a vacation. Starting like YESATERDAY!
Wanna run away with me to Mary Lou and Phyllis's?

David said...

Oh man how I can identify with this post. I have spent way too much time with the grandkids and miss adults tremendously.

Joan said...

Hmmm, maybe you needs a new strategy, first person who doesn't listen gets to can the tomatoes. I scared them I bet!

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!