How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
1. ___ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then "we can talk."
2. ___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
3. ___ The cat is on Valium.
4. ___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
5. ___ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
6. ___ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
7. ___ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
8. ___ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
9. ___ You have to check your kid's day-planner to see if he can take out the trash.
10.___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.
How you rate:
30 - A perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.
10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
0- 9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?