Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Just call me Dick,,as in Tracy.




Today I tried my hand at investigating a homicide. But this was after I had taken several deep breaths and something for my nerves to keep myself from taking shotgun and lawn chair to the edge of my yard in order to shoot at anything resembling farm equipment that might happen to chung past me on the road, (cover your eyes, I'm gonna swear here) the FUCKERS!

They got my mailbox,,again. This only makes about the 10th time this year and I'm more agitated than usual because this time they scattered some mail that I'd put out there, with my little red flag raised, for the friendly post man to pick up. The same friendly post man who probably noticed that I was at home and didn't bother to pull up in my drive to

give me today's mail

and tell me the DAMNED mail box had been murdered again.

You'd think he'd be feeling sorry for me after the years I've been putting up with this countryside homicide. But I reckon they don't pay him enough to actually have him think of tooting the horn to let me know he can't deliver the FREAKIN mail. Mind you, when I called the Postmistress to inquire as to why the carrier wasn't feeling courteous today and to ask if there was some action I could take since the murder of a mailbox is supposedly a federal crime, she told me that I really should consider renting a mail box at the post office to safeguard my mail. I politely declined cause my first thought was, hell I'd have to get out of my pajamas every day to use gas to drive to get the mail. AND, it's my right, as an American citizen, by god, to get my mail delivered to my little, rural box,,,when it's not lying dead beside the road,,without having to pay 50 (or more) smackers MORE annually to the U.S. Postal Service. They're already robbing us blind by making us buy those little stamps that go up in price almost every year.

(A man on a horse could deliver the mail quicker than they do now but that's a gripe for another day.)

Anyway, (Piggy's fav word), back to my murder investigation. Since I live in this rural area on a gravel road that's barely wide enough for 2 trucks to pass without one of them going into the ditch, I had a pretty strong hunch that I could narrow the suspects down to the farm hands of 3 of the farmers. I gathered up my phone book and started calling until I tracked em down. It turns out that yes, they knew they knocked the mail box down, and yes they had sent someone to the buying place to purchase a new one (they won't get one cheap cause I've bought all that Wal mart had these last 12 months) and they planned to put it back up. Of course this was much earlier,,like this morning.

Now I sit here looking out the window at my mail boxless post sticking up out of the ground looking all lonely and stuff, with no mail to open up to toss into the trash, wondering when in the hell they plan to PUT MY MAIL BOX BACK! I damn well better have some good mail when I do get the box or I'm gonna be really pissed.

11 comments:

Leslie said...

Good for you on figuring out who the culprits were and holding them to it. Never in my life have I heard of anyone having to put up with more mailbox catasrophes than you. It's ridiculous. I'm gonna post something to you tomorrow but Canada Post, the long lost cousin of your Post, isn't quite as speedy as the old Pony Express.

If you see a little flowery envelope blowing around in your yard in a month, that'll be from me ;)

Brent said...

*Makes mental note not to EVER upset you*

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Hopes the mailbox is back rapidly.... You have something on the way and, by our reckoning, it's due any time now.

:o)

John Strain said...

If this were a Bugs Bunny cartoon, you'd put nitro in the mailbox, then the next guy to run over it would blow up.

Leslie said...

...hmmmmmm.....nitro, eh? ;)

Brenda said...

Having the same thoughts here about the nitro.....

That mail box had the shortest lifespan of any,,,1 week and 1 day.

Mary Lou said...

Ok, Ok! I'll get a card in the mail right now!!

Joan said...

"and they sent someone to the buying place" LOL...that's a good word for a store.

I can almost see you toting your shot-gun ..remind me not to get in your way when your throwin a hissy fit!!

Hoot Nannie said...

Ooooohh, I would hate to see you when you get really pissed!! :) Too bad you can't find a cast iron mail box and when they hit it with their machinery it would dent the heck out of it!

wanda said...

Oh Brenda, I love it when you stomp your little feet and talk dirty. Throw in the visual of you in your jammies with a shotgun and you've got a full blown hot redneck mama!
I can't believe that woman told you to consider renting a post office box! Whatever happened to "neither rain, sleet, or snow will keep us from our appointed rounds"?

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