Thursday, October 27, 2005

Darwin Awards Wannabes

I'm anxiously awaiting the 2005 list of Darwin Awards. Just reading about some of those idiots makes me feel so much better about some of the stupid stuff I do. Your ignorance has to have killed you in order to win a Darwin Award but there are those who've worked mighty hard and failed to be on the awards list and they deserve mention too.

URBAN LEGEND

September 2004, Arkansas

My son is a rescue diver with our local sheriff's department. About two months ago, they were called out for an emergency rescue of several people who had fallen in the water, after their boat had tipped over.
When the rescue team arrived at the scene, other boaters had pulled two men out of the water and onto their boat. Two other cloth covered items were seen floating in the river.
When the rescue team entered the water, they found that these were not bodies.
The story was that the two men that were pulled out of the water had decided to do a little fishing. Bass fishermen spend tens of thousands of dollars outfitting their specialized boats with fancy electronic fish finders and other gear, and sometimes make the boats into floating palaces, with seats that recline while they're waiting for the big one to strike. But not everyone can afford the best.
These two fishermen had to make do with a 14-foot, flat-bottom jon boat, a kind of skiff. Wanting to be comfortable, and not having the money for a real bass boat, these two dim bulbs decided to put a couple of La-Z-boy recliners on their boat. They must have barely had enough room left of their supply of beer. Needless to say, they both decided to recline at the same time, and you can figure out the rest of the story.
My son said that they and the rest of the rescue team were laughing so hard that they could hardly do their job.


Now, doesn't that make you feel better about yourself?

16 comments:

David said...

I absolutely love reading these stories. Yes they make me feel a little smarter.

wanda said...

Darn I was wondering what happened to that old recliner of Roberts.
This sounds just like something he and Joel would do, if Joel did already own one of those fancy 'bass boats'.
Now if I could figure out a way to get me a nice recliner on the sand at Destin....;-)

jerri said...

oh nanny we all do stupid stuff! But other people make me feel smart all the time LOL i updated Instant GRITS

Special K said...

I've done some pretty goofy shit in my day yet, curiously, I've never felt too badly about it. But if I pulled some of the stuff these people who are up for awards, I would probably die of shame, if I didn't manage to finish myself off in some more efficient way.

Hoot Nannie said...

Is that Red Neck fishing at its best???? Funny stuff. I might have gone along on the fishing trip if I could have had a recliner and a port-a-potty! Do you think my boat will tip over????

Mary Lou said...

JEEZ!!! I am amazed at the stoopid things men come up with!! you notice that there are RARELY women in these Darwin Awards!!

Leslie said...

Two more examples of people who shouldn't breed.

Phyllis said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh, I hurt!!
Can you just imagine the "WHAAA??" they both felt at that moment?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Piggy and Tazzy said...

The Darwin awards amaze me. To think that people actually put soooooooo much time and effort into it too.

What's worse is that people fund them to carry out such nonsense.

It IS fun though and gives us all something to laugh at.

Mark said...

I love the Darwin Awards. Gave my Dad a book about them last Christmas.

cassie-b said...

Now there's some fine bass fishermen!

Holly said...

love those darwin awards...

although, i'm a little ashamed it seems most of the award winners and runners up come from the south.

Virginia Gal said...

Funny!

D said...

I should have been warned by the title "Darwin Award", but didn't heed the warning. No I have to go get windex for the monitor screen. French Vanilla coffee makes a big mess through the nose. Did you know that?

wanda said...

A recliner with a built in port-a-potty. My GAWD, that's every mans dream!

Cindra said...

That is too funny!