Two glasses of blackberry merlot and a tranxene later and the Terrorist is safe from harm, although for a while there I had to sit on my hands and feet to keep the acts of murder or, at the very least, severe maiming, from occuring. By the time he finished up the Science homework and went on to the Spelling, I couldn't even spell the damned 3rd grade level words. It took 3 trys for me to tell him how to spell tightly!
He makes the whole process last much longer than it should because he fidgets, makes faces, sings, farts, laughs about farting, has to use the bathroom, needs a snack, needs a shower. If the phone rings and I answer it, he escapes.
I swear ya'll, a padded cell and a straight jacket look pretty damned good in times like these. (for ME). With what is left of my tortured brain cells I could make the bars on the windows disappear in my mind. I could probably even dream up a palm tree, little umbrella drinks, and a manly hunk or two if we'd have had one of those math homework days.
Jami came in for a short time and gave him a quick hair cut and to use the computer to do a little of her own homework. She left a folder here and called later to tell me to please keep Zach out of it. I sacastically told her,,"hell, he won't even get into his own so I don't think you need worry."
Well, I just had to have this little bitch session but I'll stop now and try to get my eyes uncrossed before time to do the "get the Terrorist to bed" thing.
This Nanaw is very tired.
10 comments:
You crack me up!! But, you know, I'd be the same way; heck I was the same way back in my 20's. I can't imagine it now.
The thing is, Zach sounds like a normal kid, all the fidgeting. :)
Our 2nd grader has more homework than our 8th and 6th graders! What is with that? I'm on a mission to put an end to this!
LMAO and after all that nanny invited me and my two rugrats (chuckie rats) over tomorrow!
I remember helping with homework.
No such chores for me just now. It seems like kids get more and more homework each year.
I remember spending about 4 hours every night with Mitch on homework. Thank God for the merlot!
LMAO - oh how I DON'T miss those nights.
Sounds eerily like trying to get my middle child, Truett, to do anything without his Adderall. His diagnosis of having ADHD saved me from possibly having to throw him in a river. I hemmed and hawed a long time not wanting to put him on meds.. but it meant the difference in reading at a 2nd grade level to reading at a 6th grade level in 6 weeks on meds.
he's still wild and woolly.. but at least i don't have to nail his feet to the floor to get homework done. far less shouting on my part is required.
however, he is still truett.
I know there is a special place in heaven for grandparents who raise their grandchildren. I'm guessing it might look something like that place you mentioned with the palm trees and little umbrella drinks served by hunky bartenders. Children (even adult ones) are allowed by invitation only.
What is it with men a farts? I've never met a man that didn't think a fart was a great idea for entertainment.
I remember my dad slamming down my math text book and leaving the room before he did something he might regret!! God I was a whiner!! ..."I don't get it" ..whine..whine.. I'm tired..more whining..Lord!
You have my sympathy.
Farts are great fun - especially those that have an invisible toxic cloud.
I've always wondered how my arse managed to emulate the smell of boiling cabbage or slightly off eggs (or should that be off oeuf's? - sorry, I thought it was funny).
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