Tuesday, June 28, 2005

They're out to get me!

There I was, all worried and shit about the drive last Friday when I should'a remembered that statistics say that most traffic accidents happen within 5 miles of home. No accident here but not for the lack of folks trying to make it happen today.

When the Terrorist and I were on our way to town this morning I was stopped at the redlight at a mostly unbusy intersection just a few miles from home. When the light turned green I started moving but saw movement out of the corner of my eye and slammed on my brakes,,,just as a huge 18 wheeler shot through the redlight. That close call racked up about 4 FYs, 3 OhShits, and a SOB, all in the same breath.

Then, not 3 miles further down the highway I was flashed by a sight that nearly made my heart stop (I reckon it did for a few seconds). Four guys were standing on a trailer thingy, shirtless, and one was kinda doing a swaying dance at a construction site. That's exactly the type of scenery that absolutely takes my breath away!

Lastly, after I dropped Zach off at ball practice and started back into town, to buy the toilet paper that I went to get this morning and forgot, a leisurely lady with a cell phone to her ear pulled out in front of me causing another screeching of brakes. I don't think she heard my oaths of "crazy bitch" and "blind MOAW" or my gestures of frustration because she stayed at a steady 40MPH in the 55MPH zone and was gesturing, to whothehellever she was talking to on the phone, with both hands.

I think I should stay home tomorrow.

1 comment:

Phyllis said...

MY GOODNESS!!! Good thing you drive Defensively!! That 18 wheeler would've gotten you for sure!! I am soooo glad he didn't!!
Thank the Lord!!