Wednesday, June 09, 2004

An optimist and a pessimist

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"Yes, I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

Proof of Age

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply
for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license

to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had

left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry,

"I will have to go home and come back later."

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.

She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for

me," and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his

experience at the social security office.

She says, "You should have dropped your pants... You might have

gotten disability too."

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