Friday, April 02, 2004

Some people REALLY need a sign.

I stopped and bought a paper the other day on my way to pick Zach up from school. I always read Dr. Gott's articles on the Delta Express page cause sometimes he has some really interesting tidbits in there. The following gave me reason to think Dr. Gott just may have a sense of humor.

Dear Dr. Gott:

For years I've tried everything my doctor recommended, plus everything advertised on television, for hemorrhoids. Nothing works.

Sunday evening I had dinner with friends. One of the women is a nut about Jell-O, believing that it is good for everything that ails you. In desperation I gave it a try the following morning. I cooked it according to the the directions on the package and applied it to the inflamed area.

It did nothing except make a horrible stain on my new white linen slacks.

Perhaps I shouldn't have used strawberry.

Do you think Lemon Jell-O, or perhaps plain gelatin, would have been better? Someone else at the table suggested roasted garlic, but I don't think he was serious.
What do you think?

(at this point I'm sitting alone in my truck howling with laughter and I haven't even gotten to Dr. Gotts reply)

Dear Reader:

Boy, that must have been some fascinating dinner party, with hemorrhoids the thrust of the discussion. Couldn't you have spent just a little time on George W.?

Now to business:

Lemon Jell-O won't help your problem either. Troublesome hemorrhoids that don't respond to suppositories (either prescription or OTC) should be examined by a doctor.

But. Here is another option that many readers claim has brought relief.

Apply Vicks VapoRub to the affected area twice a day. I've been assured relief may occur immediately after the first application.

(by this time I was laying in the seat of the truck, too weak to sit up from laughing so hard).Raise The Roof

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