I've never been interviewed before but,,,

Kb asked for volunteers among her readers so I took the bait. (I'm ready for my prize now Kb!)

I know there are few surprises in my replies, I just hope it doesn't put anyone to sleep.

1) We all know that you are hilarious so tell us the most funny,
embarrasing thing that has happened to you or that you did.

I mistakenly thought a little, old, tax client was attempting to molest/attack me a few years ago.

Keep in mind that this all happened in a matter of a very few minutes.

I had prepared his return and was printing it so we could both sign it and suddenly he stood up and reached across my desk towards me, sort of slapping at me. I was thinking, "What the fuck??", and I'm scooting my chair back as he continues to reach forward, slapping at me across the desk. I pushed back in the chair until it hit the wall and just as I started to stand he reached way over and slapped me across my chest, the same second I saw something land at my feet.

The next thing I remember is lying on the floor with him patting my face saying, "mam, are you ok?"

What had landed at my feet was the huge spider that he'd slapped from my shoulder. I'm not sure if it was the spider or the thought that the man was attacking me that made me faint but I musta overloaded there for a second and Poof,,I went down like a brick.

I walked into the house that night after work and told hubby, "You know that fight or flight instinct we supposedly have? ,,,, Fuck, I faint", and I went on to tell him what had happened. He remarked, "Hell Brenda, if he'd told you there was a spider on you, you'd have stripped on the spot and the old guy would have probably had a heart attack."

2) Being the "tax man" has anyone cussed you out over their return and if
so tell us the story.

I think I do pretty well at putting on a professional, know my stuff, front (most of the time) when I'm with a client so I've never had one actually curse me although they've been upset over the amounts of their refunds, or lack thereof.

I did have a couple last year, the first day I opened the tax office for business, that got into a fight with each. Since the ex-husband was Jordanian and I couldn't understand one dang thing he was saying but figured it wasn't good when he had the ex-wife's finger twisting it, I called the cops and had them removed. It was nice to know that the FC police dept. has less than a 5 minute response time. They sent 5, fine, burly officers to my aid.

3) What is one thing that you would love for your husband to do without
you having to tell him?

Just know me. I've lived with this man for nearly 34 years and I can honestly say he knows nothing about me. Not my shoe size, not my favorite color,,Nothing!!

4) What is the one thing that your husband does that makes you want to hit
him over the head and bury him in the yard?

On quite a few days that would be when I wake up and he's breathing.

5) If you could change one thing about yourself overnight what would it be?

I'd be slim and trim again.

If any 5 folks are willing to be interviewed by me, let me know in my comments and I'll ask away.