When standing on ice as you get into your truck, make sure you're very, very, close to the truck before you try to put a leg in. If you don't, the other leg will head south and you'll split your difference.
Put away the Seargents Flea shampoo that someone left on your tub BEFORE you are taking a bath, water dripping in your eyes, and groping for the shampoo like a blind lady. (I'm putting this lesson learned right behind the one about making sure the Scrub Free is rinsed out of the tub before you take a bath.)
Birds will eat, and like, spaghetti made with Ragu Traditional sauce.