Sunday, September 05, 2004

I hate choices!

PROBLEM: Two books are for sale. Which to buy?

"The Titanic" or "My Life" by Bill Clinton?

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Titanic: $29.99

Clinton: $29.99


Titanic: Over 3 hours to read.

Clinton: Over 3 hours to read.


Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and s ubsequent catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.


Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.


Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton: Ditto for Bill.


Titanic: During an ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica.


Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let's not go there.


Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.


Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.


Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica... oooh, let's not go there, either.


Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary... basically the same thing...