Thursday, November 17, 2005

We're educated down here

Actual answers to exams taken by Arkansas students , Lord help us if these were answers by our future doctors.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (this is my personal favorite)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


David said...

Yep hillbilly country up there.

Enjoyed those.

Leslie said...

I love kids and their cute answers.

So my little 5-yr-old niece calls the other night to sing to me and mid-way through the Happy Birthday song she stops and says "What's your name again?"

Gee, I wonder if I should phone more often ;)

Joe said...

LOL! Hey some of those sound pretty good girl!

Houston said...

Thanks for the snicker.

Hey, Brenda.

Mary Lou said...

Funny!! and scary at the same time.

kb said...

LOL, those are funny!!!

Special K said...

Keep in in the cow. Ha ha!

Sally said...

Those are so cute. But, the about the mushroom is true, right? :)

Brent said...

Our future leaders! S C A R Y!!!!

me said...

I like what you will be after you be eight!

Cal said...

A good laugh is always a nice way to start the day! I have to say though at least the one about the cow makes twisted sense!

cassie-b said...

Your "Southern" lists always give me a chuckle.

I lived in Texas for a while, and have a Texican dictionary. Funny stuff!


wanda said...

"Keep it in the cow"

I can see where wearing a condominium might be excellent birth control.

Thanks Bren, I need a good laugh this morning.

Sally said...

Yesterday I heard this from my s-i-l talking about her best friend.

She was telemarketing satellite dish's (or whatever they're called).

She calls this man who says "I live on a farm and I don't need anything else to worry with".

She says "Oh, you live on a farm, do you have cows?"

Yes,I do.

"Well, sir, I've always heard that if you have a satellite dish, the cows give more milk!"

My s-i-l asked her friend "Did you EVER sell one."

N.O. The girl is a hoot.