I awoke to SNOW and ICE this morning therefore, I did not even attempt to make it to work. I drive a Ford Pickup with an extended cab and the rearend tends to enjoy kissing the frontend whilst on a bit of ice. Sooooo,,,I was lazy and slept until 6:30 this morning and was having a lovely, lazy, day until I decided to remove the cat's litter to the great outdoors. I had a fight with the back door while trying to NOT empty the litter on my deck and ended up with it smacking me on the side of my head. Now I'm sporting a bruised cheek, a nearly black eye, and a tiny cut on my nose that bled like a stuck hog! Maybe I should have navigated the snowy, icy byways to work?
FOREIGN REDNECKS DO EXIST!!!
Dave & Johnno
Two Aussies, Davo and Johnno, were adrift in an old lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Davo stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth. This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Davo blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Victoria Bitter!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the "hard earned thirst" quencher.
The genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull
broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Johnno looked disgustedly at Davo whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment Johnno said: "Nice going Davo!
Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."