Friday, February 21, 2003

Arkansas Redneck Humor
Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and
left his entire
estate
in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
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What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
Nice tooth!

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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911
operator told
Bubba
that she would send someone out right away. "Where do
you live?" asked
the
operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus
Drive." The
operator
asked, "Can you spell that for me? "There was a long
pause and finally
Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak
Street and you pick
her
up there?"

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How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas
hotel?
When you call the front desk and say
"I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the
front desk says "go
ahead".

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How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his
pickup truck.

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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
drinking age in Arkansas
to
32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high
schools!

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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
A documentary.

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What do they call it in Kentucky?
"Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on
I-40. He says to
the
driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"

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Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Arkansas State
Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

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Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone has the same DNA.

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Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little
Rock, Arkansas
burned
down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer
park.

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A new law recently passed in Arkansas:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother
and sister.

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Two Arkansans are walking down different ends of a
street toward each
other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet,
one says, "Hey
Tommy
Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how
many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses
right and I'll give
you
both of them." "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
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What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas,
and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.

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An Arkansan came home and found his house on fire,
rushed next door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted,
"Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Arkansan say, don't you still have those big red
trucks?"

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Why do folks in Arkansas go to the movie theater in
groups of 18 or
more?
'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

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What do you get when you have 32 Arkansasians in the
same room?
A full set of teeth.

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