Whats UP down South

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!
> Subject: redneck valentine
> >
> >
> > A redneck valentine.
> >
> > collards is green,
> > my dog's name is blue
> > and I'm so lucky
> > to have a sweet thang like you.
> >
> > yore hair is like cornsilk
> > a-flapping in the breeze.
> > softer than blue's
> > and without all them fleas.
> >
> > you move like the bass,
> > which excite me in may.
> > you ain't got no scales
> > but I luv you anyway.
> >
> > yo're as satisfy'n as okry
> > jist a-fry'n in the pan.
> > yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
> > right out of the can.
> >
> > you have some'a yore teeth,
> > for which I am proud;
> > I hold my head high
> > when we're in a crowd:
> >
> > on special occasions
> > when you shave under yore arms,
> > well, I'm in hawg heaven,
> > and awed by yore charms.
> >
> > still them fellers at work
> > they all want to know
> > what I did to deserve
> > such a prudy, young doe.
> >
> > like a good roll of duct tape
> > yo're there fer yore man,
> > to patch up life's troubles
> > and fix what you can.
> >
> > yo're as cute as a junebug
> > a-buzzin' overhead.
> > you ain't mean like those far ants
> > I found in my bed.
> >
> > cut from the best cloth
> > like a plaid flannel shirt,
> > you spark up my life more
> > than a fresh load of dirt.
> >
> > when you hold me real tight
> > like a padded gunrack,
> > my life is complete;
> > ain't nuttin' I lack.
> >
> > yore complexion, it's perfection,
> > like the best vinyl siding;
> > despite all the years,
> > yore age, it keeps hiding;
> >
> > me 'n' you's like a moon pie
> > with a rc cold drink,
> > we go together
> > like skunk goes with stank.
> >
> > some men, they buy chocolate
> > for valentine's day;
> > they git it a wal-mart,
> > it's romantic that way.
> >
> > some men git roses
> > on that special day
> > from the cooler at kroger.
> > that's impressive," I say.
> >
> > some men buy fine diamonds
> > from a flea market booth.
> > "diamonds are forever,"
> > they explain, suave and couth.
> >
> > but for this man, honey,
> > these just won't do
> > cause yo're too special,
> > you sweet thang you.
> >
> > I got you a gift,
> > without taste nor odor,
> > more useful than diamonds...
> > it's a new troll'n motor!!