Friday, March 13, 2009
I'm not sure I can do this,,,,
It's hard. It was hard the first time I tried, harder the second, and even harder the third time I tried to quit smoking. I have had this love/hate relationship with cigarettes for 40 years now and I know they're probably killing me. I don't know how to explain this addiction but I know without a doubt that I have one.
Tuesday I went to my doctor, the one who has the assembly line patient care going on, and was able to spit out in my 2 minute allotted time that I wanted a prescription for Chantix. The only thing he said before writing the prescription was, pointing to his head, " are you sure up here?" I told him that I hoped so, and that was that. I paid, I left.
Tuesday evening I went to my first support group session for smokers who want to quit. After I attend two sessions, they will provide the Chantix to me free of charge so that sounded like a good deal since I don't have insurance.
My first homework from the session is to cut my cigarette use down to 20 cigarettes a day. I did this on Wednesday although I had to go to bed twice to calm down. On Thursday I did ok too but two naps helped me through then also. Today hasn't been good, no naps and I'm a bit stressed; when I'm stressed I reach for my crutch; the smokes.
I think I'm willing but I'm weak. I love those nasty things but they're killing me. I start the Chantix next week, we'll see.