There's a Conspiracy Going On

Is there a new law that I missed that says you aren't supposed to take a nap? I tried a little before noon the first time yesterday and my daughter Jami came over. After she left, I felt the need to snooze come on again and the frozen food man showed up. I'd just snuggled in again and was dozing off and my MIL came a'knocking at the door.

I'm going back to bed now so if it's against the law, just send someone to arrest me. I betcha I could get a few naps in a cell!

Oh, I almost forgot

Here's the cute pic,,,as though those others weren't cute enough!

STILL laughing!!!

Jerri just sent me an Email

The coffee pic is blurry, however when you are caught at 7 am making coffee for moma act all shy and like you don't know why your "dister" (that's Jilly speak for sister) is telling on you!!!!!! Now later, when you are caught red handed...well purple handed painting yourself with melted candle wax at 3 pm that very same day you blow big kisses so that moma will laugh and not give you a good ol southern ass spanking! and for good measure I tossed in a cute pic!

I'm still howling with laughter every time I look at that little, purple, smoochy face.

Better her than me! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Stuff

Trish called the other night to tell me that Jaylen, who's only 5 1/2, has lost her first tooth. This is a milestone for younguns ya know.

Anyway, Trish told her to put her tooth under her pillow when it was time for bed and the tooth fairy would leave her some money for the tooth. Jaylen said, " Ut Uh! I'm not going to do that because I don't want some strange fairy coming into my room when I'm asleep. You buy my tooth." Trish said, "Ok, how much?" Jaylen thought for a second then said, " $40.00." Trish told her, "No way! You'd best go put that tooth under your pillow for that fairy and see if she's needing a tooth enough to pay that much for it, I'm not paying you $40.00 for a tooth!"

They finally negotiated down to $4.00.

I was laughing about Jaylen not wanting a "strange" fairy to come into her house and Trish told me that she doesn't allow the Easter Bunny to come unload their goodies either. Trish has to meet the Easter Bunny at the front door so he won't make an in home delivery.

Jordan has also lost a couple of her teeth lately but Trish didn't mention anything about her having a problem with the fairy visiting. I reckon at her age, the idea of cold, hard, cash, overcomes any worries about strange fairies coming over while they're asleep.

I wonder if Jaylen has thought about the fairy coming into the house to leave money for Jordan? Ha! I'll have to ask Trisha about that next time we talk.

Spring Break Blues

I'm almost elated that spring break is almost over except for the fact that I'll have to wake up at that ungodly 6 a.m. hour once again. The little road trip up to see sister Paula was excellent happiness therapy but then I return home to the same ole stuff like,

Feeling like Hansel and Gretal with their bread crumb trail as I follow after the terrorist here with his little boy messes. There's the trail of socks, the trail of shoes, the trail of popcorn, the trail of empty drink cans and half full, abandoned glasses. Oh, and I almost forgot the trail of kiddy Uno cards and left-over pizza.

The laundry basket taking on the appearance of Mt. Somethingorother, and

The danged telephone ringing constantly and I can't ever find it and I can barely get up to answer it cause of this wicked aching back of mine.

There is one ray of hope around here, I think. Hubby came in around 9 last evening and asked me if I'd been to the beauty shop. I'd had a shower and rubbed a little gob of mousse in my hair but I never got around to actually using a brush or comb on it. I think it would be best not to mention his compliment? to my hairdresser. Ya think?

Of course he could have had too much of the field dust and grit in his eyes to see me clearly.

Ok, I'm off to find that heatpad and wrestle the remote away from the terrorist.

Home Again

Zach and I made it home around 4 pm yesterday and we were both tired, me from all that driving, him from playing his gameboy for about 5 of the 7 hrs we were on the road. The trip only takes about 6 hrs if you don't stop for the necessities but we had the necessity of finding clean bathrooms every couple of hours or so.

I had a great time visiting with Paula my nephew, Michael. I didn't get to see my nephew, Fisher, until I was getting ready to leave. On Saturday we went to Wilson Creek State Park to see the Civil War museum and battle grounds, then on Sunday we went to the Zoo.

Sometimes I get lucky

No talent but occasionally I sure do get lucky. I lucked out with this shot, I was sitting beneath the plum tree, it was cloudy and looked like it could rain at any moment but the sun was straining to shine through the gloom.

Road Trip

Zach has his spring break next week but I thought we'd start on it a little early and take a trip up to Missouri to see sister Paula. I'm picking him up from school at noon tomorrow so we can get through them thar hills before dark.

We plan to visit the Springfield, MO zoo while we're there and I think Paula mentioned a fishing trip for the boys, other than that, I'm going to take some photos and sleep late when I can. It's just a long weekend trip so we'll be home some time on Monday.

Maxine's Will

I, MAXINE , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine or a Bloody Mary
chocolate
Margarita
chocolate
Martini
Cold Beer
chocolate
Chicken fried steak
cream gravy
chocolate
Mexican food
chocolate
French fries
chocolate
Pizza
chocolate
ice cream
cup of tea
chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

You'd think I'd learn

One of the little male pups, with a full belly, taking a little nap in our neighbor, Jesse's lap.

I swore I'd never become attached to another animal after our little Bichon Frise, Gizmo, was killed by a low-flying car 20 years or so ago, but how can you not become attached to a bunch of chewing, squirming, biting, licking, whining, pooping, peeing, puppies?

Sooo,,,

I guess I was mellowed out from the trip to West Memphis with James for his doctor's visit yesterday, being thankful and all that we hadn't had to wait forever because I was as gasey as a Goodyear blimp after the lunch we'd had at Shoney's, because I volunteered to take the puppy pack to the vet today for their puppy shots. (Got to remember to call first in case the doc has other plans for today).

James put the dog carrier in the back of the truck for me last evening but I've been worrying all night, between periods of restless sleep, about them getting car sick, or hungry, or thirsty, about how I'm going to be able to gather up all those little dudes and get them into the carrier, if they'll be ok if I stop to have lunch (I'm pretty sure the Mexican place doesn't allow puppy guests) with Georgie, our neighbor, who's going with me to lend a helping hand. Also, I was concerned about hubby's intention to purchase the puppy shots himself and administer them to the pups, even though he's been giving the boosters to his other dogs for years, I worry.

One of them, Dempsy Mocha Mallard, has already gone to her new home with the Chick and Jillian where I know she'll be loved and treated like royalty, but I worry about the other 4 who'll be leaving us in a few days for their new homes. What if noone is there to play with them?

I'm sure some folks are wondering why I'm worrying about puppies when the state of the world is near crap, but I'll worry about that next week. Unless something else comes along.

Not too much going on around here....

Most of the news is even the same old thing.

There is one little tidbit,,, Arkansas folks have been getting a tad wound up about the lack of concern from those FEMA folks. It would seem that since most of the folks down Dumas, Arkansas way actually work for a living, rather than sitting around on their posteriors waiting for the gub-ment handouts, they're not likely to get too awful much of the diaster help, that I would have thought to be desperately needed, from Bush and his cronies. Never mind that's it's these same folks, who've had their homes and businesses completely wiped out due to those tornadoes that roared through awhile back, who are paying their shares into the gub-ment coffers on a more than regular basis.

It's enough to make you want to quit work and start picking up aluminum cans for a living.

Springy Doins

I"m gonna hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George!

I was sitting outside with Jerri and the chickletts yesterday, the puppies were in and out of the kennel and Alexis and Jillian were in hog heaven to have all those puppies to play with. The cartoon above came to Jerri's mind as we watched Jillian try to herd the puppies into doing things her way.

This little fella followed the Chick everywhere she went.

It's so nice to be able to sit outdoors in our shirt-sleeves this week, makes me wonder if Spring has finally sprung or if it's just teasing.

Off to the Little Rock today

I'll need the patience of a Saint, which I don't have, and nerves of steel, which are lacking, and decent directions, which I hope are not lost, because today I'm taking James's elderly aunt to see a doctor in Little Rock. I've been more than a little moody lately so I have hopes that today is not one of her major whining days.

This lady was on her death bed just one year ago but only 3 months or so after rising she managed to alienate nearly every one of her close family members and tried to run over her daughter who was blocking the drive-way to keep her from escaping to the casino in a car she wasn't supposed to be driving.

The lady might weigh 100 lbs when she's dripping wet.

Please, Lord, forgive me of my tresspasses prior to actually doing them, I'm going to need all the help I can get today.

Sunday Ponderings

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month? A. Conception.

Q. Only 14% of Americans say they've done this with the opposite sex.What is it? A. Skinny dipping.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace. This is propinquity.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession

Q. More women do this in the bathroom than men. A. Wash their hands.

Women: 80%, men: 55%.Q. What do 100% of all lottery winners do? A. Gain weight.

Q. In a recent survey, Americans revealed that this was their favorite smell. A. Banana.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand.

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windscreen wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women.

Q. Married men revealed that they do this twice as often as single men. A. Change their underwear.

Q. This stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous. A. A kiss.

Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil. A. Honey.

Q. 40% of all people who come to a party in your home do this? A. Have a look in your medicine cabinet.

Q. 3.9% of all women surveyed say they never do this. A. Wear underwear.

Q. What common everyday occurrence is composed of 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, and 9% carbon dioxide?A. A fart.

Rules for living in Arkansas

Here's to all of us who live in Arkansas , some born and raised here. Some got here as fast as they could, and others who would like to be from here.
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot and noone here want's to see yer drawers.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a Pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & lakes for fishing. Sorry they smell like cattle and fish to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines and cotton pickers
that are driven only a few times a year.

5. Every person in every pickup waves. It's called beingfriendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in,we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat Crappi and Catfish and love it. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a Religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak.Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of ham & turkey.

11. When we put food on a table, there are three main dishes: meats,vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion, Pepper, and Garlic!Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in New York call thatstuff you eat...

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a hell of a lot more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards--it spooks the fish.

15 Colleges? Try ASU, University of Arkansas, UALR, UAMS orCollege of the Ozarks. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force,and Marines,than any other state, so "Don't screw with Arkansas ," If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

We act bad, don't we?

Da Double Nickel

James is 55 today.

I'm happy to say that I'm not 55 today but alas, it's coming sooner than I want. This photo was taken when he was in SD back in December, after he'd shot his first pheasant.

I went shopping this morning and brought him his favorite chocolates, a bunch of socks, and a new pad thing for his truck seat. I'm making chicken and dumplings, cornbread, and taters for his supper, and I've already made his chocolate birthday cake and I didn't even explode it this year.

He's lounging in his recliner now because it rained and he's home but he had to move my dryer to replace the vent hose so he's all tuckered out, I reckon.