Friday, March 02, 2007

Rules for living in Arkansas

Here's to all of us who live in Arkansas , some born and raised here. Some got here as fast as they could, and others who would like to be from here.
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot and noone here want's to see yer drawers.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a Pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & lakes for fishing. Sorry they smell like cattle and fish to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines and cotton pickers
that are driven only a few times a year.

5. Every person in every pickup waves. It's called beingfriendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in,we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat Crappi and Catfish and love it. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a Religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak.Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of ham & turkey.

11. When we put food on a table, there are three main dishes: meats,vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion, Pepper, and Garlic!Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in New York call thatstuff you eat...

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a hell of a lot more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards--it spooks the fish.

15 Colleges? Try ASU, University of Arkansas, UALR, UAMS orCollege of the Ozarks. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force,and Marines,than any other state, so "Don't screw with Arkansas ," If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

We act bad, don't we?

15 comments:

Brent said...

I hope you didn't have bad weather there today!!!

Sally said...

Do ya'll eat grits with the fried catfish? If so, I'm packing my bags! Happy belated Birthday to good ol James! :)

AndiePandie said...

*snort* That cracked me up.

Kim said...

Those were great! I'm with you on the sushi.
Dylan's birthday is today; he's four now. We're off to Chuck E. Cheese. Woohoo.

cassie-b said...

It all sounds wonderful to me. We lived in a small town in upstate New York for 8 years, where everyone knew your business, and I drove a pick up truck there. I loved it.
Cas
cities are NOT for me.

Tammy said...

this was a hoot!!
:-D

Phyllis said...

Those are cute! We could use the same here against the influx of rich Californians!!

Attila The Mom said...

Hehehe! I love what you've done to the place!

Anonymous said...

I love this...I'm proud to be from Arkansas.

Little Sis


How about our good ole boy Mark Martin....All he needed was a chevy...

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