Friday, September 29, 2006

Spider Battle

As I was washing my face last night before hitting the hay, I noticed something in my peripheral vision dropping in front of the mirror. When I looked closer, I noticed it was a spider, and he was on my sink, and the "OHMYGOD, Ewww, Ewww it's a spider", dance was on. Since James wasn't at home, and Zach's almost as fond of the monsters as I am, and there was no way I was going to get close enough to the damned thing to hit it with anything, I snatched the bottle of rarely used hair spray. I stood back as far as I could while still keeping within spraying distance and let 'er loose, thinking the hair spray would disable him long enough for it to set and possibly freeze-dry, or drown, him until he could be removed. Hopefully by someone other than myself.

The first volley of hair spray ammo didn't stop him from moving and he tried to escape, but I pursued him behind the toothbrush holder and attacked again and again until he stopped moving. He was only about an inch or so long, as far as I could see from a distance and without my glasses, but I do know he was brown and had some sort of mark on his back. This quick ID was enough for me to decide he had to be a brown recluse so I sprayed him, unmoving though he was, with two finger blasts, over and over. I might need to mention here that most spiders I see have the potential to be brown recluses except for the black widow and that hussy couldn't possibly be misidentified.

This morning when I went in to check, he was GONE! I'm hoping that James noticed the hair-sprayed mirror, counter, sink, and toothbrushes, and the spider carcass, and removed him, because the thought that he might have escaped would just be too much for my nerves to handle, it's the not knowing where he IS part that gets to me the most. I tend to feel crawly for days after those sort of encounters.

Today I did an internet search to see if I could identify him for sure but gave up after finding out that the spot on the back was supposed to be fiddle shaped, and the recluse has 3 prs of eyes instead of the normal 4. I gathered from this information that you'd have to be on top of the creature with a magnifying glass to find this out and that just ain't about to happen here since he's gone and there's no way I'd ever be that close on purpose.

The bathroom is still sticky with hair-spray because I haven't gotten my nerve up to go near where spidey might still be hiding. Every time I've had to go in there today I've kept my eyes peeled for him because if he lived through all that White Rain, he's probably out for revenge.

I hate spiders. I hate them a lot. And I'm not especially fond of snakes either!

19 comments:

cultureshock553 said...

Oh, ugh. I don't mind spiders, it's roaches I hate. One crawled out from under a toilet seat once when I was about to sit. I couldn't pee for years afterward without checking in and around the toilet first.

Cal said...

Urggh! I feel the same way. Hope you got rid of it permanently

Cindra said...

You are too funny, but I'm not much better when it comes to spiders. They don't all scare me. The little whispy ones don't bother me much. When I was younger and still living with my parents, I would kill any kind of bug that invaded my room. I would hit it with a shoe, magazine, book whatever was handy. Then that item would stay on the dead or maybe not dead body until which time there was no body left. It might stay for months. When I moved out and my mother went into my room she picked up all kinds of items that had been slammed into place and left. She called me trying to figure out the mystery. She did claim to find one skeleton of one spider... the rest had been smashed beyond recognition. Much as I hate them, I am not afraid to kill them.

Leslie said...

I see that you and I were both having to screw up our courage to deal with 'monsters' this week. I was out watering my front flowerbed after work when I spotted a cat-face spider sittiing quite happily in the middle of its web over the lamb's ears. These suckers are FREAKIN' HUGE and stripey and pale. The thought of having 8 hundred zillion baby cat-face spiders scared the crap outta me, so I grabbed a newspaper out of the garage and whacked it with all I was worth. I was actually a little trembly when I was making the motion as I imagined it leaping at me.

I actually felt pretty bad after smooshing it to oblivion and washing its guts off the step. Its only crime was being yucky and plump but I can't help it.

I hope you find a shrivelled little legs-up carcass somewhere so you can pee in peace!

Leslie said...

Wanna see how gross it is?

http://www.coopext.colostate.edu/4dmg/Pests/catspid.htm

Mary Lou said...

I am with you on that one, I hate the damn things, and unlike KB who kindly moves them outside, I smash them where I find them. Unfortunately there is no one else but me that lives here, so either the spider dries onto the wall and stays there, or he is stuck on whatever I hit him with.

Needless to say I have spots all over my walls.

jazzi said...

Any spider around here can be a brown recluse, too, so if we see a spider, it's dead. I'll grab shoes, newspapers, and whatever I can to kill those things. I think I've used hairspray, too! (The image comes to mind of a spider with a bouffant hairdo, primping as I blast it with hairspray. Ha!)

Tammy said...

I hate spiders too but I'm not afraid to kill one!!
What is funny is I had a set~to with one just this morning in the corner of my dining room...little bugger was fast and flipped around every which way but I finally wore him down more than me...Hubby laughing the whole time!!
:-D
PS...I'm not that brave with snakes...Yikes...runs!!!

PEA said...

LOL you and me sound exactly the same when it comes to spiders...I don't care if they're the size of a pin head, they terrify me! One time I sprayed one with Insect Killer until the thing was completely white and dead but I still sat there all day long making sure he didn't move until my husband came home and got rid of it! lol Also, when someone comes over and they see a shoe in the middle of the floor, they know it's a spider under there...and of course I don't use MY shoes! lol

Sally said...

Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout....Sorry, the devil made me do it. I'm with you on crawly things; I'll grab whatever including hair spray!!

Shell said...

Oh ick. I hate spiders too...especially if they are big. Creepy.

mreddie said...

Great story, I'm still chuckling, I can see the critter now as the hair spray was slowly drying and it was saying 'why can't I move my legs, what is going on.' :) ec

Summer said...

My worst nightmare. A spider. I think we ought to keep a snow shovel in the bathroom next the to hair spray. Why can't they just stay OUT of MY house?

Call the exterminator. NOW.

Brent said...

Kim does the "spider dance" whether it's a spider or any other creepy-crawly. I laugh my ass off! She hates bugs. I kill them in the house, but I won't harm an insect outside.

Special K said...

Oh, PYUK. No one needs that at any time. Fuck fucking spiders, I don't care if they eat mosquitoes -- they're so big and fugly, they're worth killin' on your own.

Looks like you do get to kill them on your own, sunuva....

Andie Pandie said...

If it gets in my house it dies. That's my simple rule. :) Now I don't do it because I would die of a heart attack but I have Mr. AP kill them. He's not happy about it but he realizes it's one of his many tasks. LOL

Anonymous said...

Just wandered across your website...and a lovely place it is! I can relate to your spider hate!!! I've had my boyfriend drive over before work to smash one under the laundry hamper...turned out it was a spider off a spider ring from last Halloween...we got a big laugh out of it! I'll stop in again:) Have a nice day!

Big Spiders in Asheville!

Joan said...

I usually let them go. Unless they are really ugly, or they have more than 30 legs!!

Gattina said...

Lol ! This is really a funny description of spider killing ! I saw myself, short sighted and probably taking all brown spots in my bathroom for a spider. Now, however, when my husband is not around to kill the thing and telling me that I am hysterical, I take my cat, carry her to the bathroom and close the door. She loves spider hunting and when after a while she meauws to get out, I saw her sitting there leaking her whiskers and there were no trace of the spider any more !