Monday, September 04, 2006

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I've learned an awful lot over the past half century (geez that sounds ancient, don't it?) As a kid I learned,

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.

It is not a good thing to torment the emotionally frail.

I would not squeak chalk.

Instigating a revolution can mean detention.

You are not allowed to hide behind the Fifth Amendment at a young age.

It's not a good idea to bring frogs to class

You do not have diplomatic immunity.

There is life, and then there is summer.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

As an adult I've learned,

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will, and often.

There will be occasions that call for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

There is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.

That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again.

When life hands you lemons, squeeze them between your bitter fingers and throw them at the wall.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

I'm not cynical. I'm just experienced.

There ARE folks who are a waste of two billion years of evolution.

On your way down the banister of life, your ass may collect tons of splinters.

I hope to continue to settle my internal conflicts without bloodshed.

Most normal people worry me.

Some people are on the edge. Some people are over it. I'm hang-gliding.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

Second place is the first loser.

I just thought I'd share those few little items as a learning experience for others. I believe I've learned more but along with age come the gaps in memory that only allow great thoughts of wisdom to come to light on rare occasions.


MissKris said...

Even tho you're a Southerner and my Mom was a diehard ol' New England Yank, a lot of your common-sense wisdom and hers move closely along the same line. Thanks for sharing these...I got a good chuckle out of a lot of them 'coz they're so TRUE!! I've done something similar a couple times on my blog but of a more serious note. Every now and then it does a soul good to do a little 'review', doesn't it?

Sally said...

Very good, Ms. Brenda. I can truly relate to some of those but especially about the splinters - got lots of those! :)

Tiff said...

It has been awhile! I am trying to get back in the loop! Looks like I have lots of "catch up reading to do"! Sorry I have been such a crummy blog friend! Happy Labor Day!

mreddie said...

I've learned many of those - maybe not enough. ec

Brent said...

"Second place is the first loser."

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Too good, Brenda!

Virginia Gal said...

Normal people scare me too, hee hee.

Wow, I'm glad baby Jillian is ok, that was such a scary story - I would have passed out at seeing the snake. That kid has hutzpah!

cassie-b said...

That was a lot of good insight there.

Your quote, "When life hands you lemons, squeeze them between your bitter fingers and throw them at the wall." is an improvement of mine, which suggests that you make lemonade.

Have a great week! And careful with that hang gliding!

David said...

Oh I detest squeaking chalk........