Friday, January 02, 2004

Ever wonder?

Bear did and he shared his wonders with me.

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

On electric toasters why do they engrave the message 'one slice'?
How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try
to stuff in that slot?

How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes
always move the wrong way?

Why do people who keep running over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner reach down pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept
drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say
"It's alright?" It isn't alright, so why don't we say,
"That hurt, you stupid idiot"?

Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and
you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?

What is the point of brick wallpaper?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale
and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it
was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers ?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger
person wondering what the heck happened?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best
friend who really is the dumber sex?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays?
Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

Why is it that men can react to broken bones as
'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch',
but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill
'with the flu' and have to be bed-ridden for weeks?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why do women never say what they want or mean and always expect
men to innately know what they are thinking?
Do they think men are psychic?

Why do men forget everything & women remember everything?

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes?
After all there's no sense in two people remembering
the same things, right???

Is the real reason women live longer then men because
they don't have to live with women?

If at first you don't succeed shouldn't you try doing it
like your wife told you to?

If an optimist fell from a ten story building would he yell
out to his friends 'All right so far' as he passed each floor?

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