Sunday, January 15, 2006

I'm Country and Proud

I've lived in the country for most of my life and the few occasions when I've had to live in the cities have only strengthened my resolve that city living just ain't for me. I come from a family of farmers and I learned to respect and rely on the land for a lot of the things I've needed. I might be forced to pay a dollar for a cucumber or bell pepper during the winter months, but if I do, it's because the ones I planted out back in my garden got blasted by cotton chemicals or a hail storm.

Where am I going with this, you ask? Well, I'm getting around to it, just hold yer drawers on.

Today, before the doors opened inward and in spilled all the little chicklets who came to help Zach celebrate his coming birthday, I was having a pot sit, and the only reading material nearby was the Mid-South Farming magazine. Pot sittin and farm magazine reading just seem to go together in this house and if you sit there long enough you end up learning a little something whether you intend to or not. During this particular sittin spell I learned something that really got my dander up somewhat.

This one article about "natural fertilizers" caught my attention for some reason, and as I read it, I began to realize that it won't be long before country living will be going to hell in a hand basket. The article was about how scientists and chemists are working on taking the smell out of "natural" fertilizers due to the fact that city folks are moving to the rural areas and the smell is just too much like shit for their preferences.

The very first thought that bounced around in my head was, "Well city folks, it IS shit!" It's what cows do, and pigs, and horses, and chickens, and all other matter of farm animal do. It's only nature. And it's only natural around the countryside that these nutrients not go to waste and some of the smaller farms still spread it all natural like,,in the rough.

But it seems that "natural" fertilizer isn't their only gripe. They're also concerned with the smell when they build their big ole country houses next door, or down wind, to a hog or cattle farming operation.

What's the country coming to? A city?

So the scientists and chemists have discovered something that could possibly take some of the smell out of "nature". They've found that the natural fertilizer that comes from cows who are fed dried corn feed smells much worse than if they're fed corn feed with more moisture in it.

Can you believe that? Never mind that the cost to the cattle farmer to feed his stock will most likely double if the government decides that a cow needs more moisture in it's food to keep his cow pies from smelling to high heaven. Keep in mind that this would be the same government who pays the scientists and chemists to do these studies about shit. Also keep in mind that this shit study and others is paid for with our tax money.

I tell you, reading stuff like this is enough to make you want to put off pot sittin for a long time. It's surely enough to "rile the hell up" a country-lovin southern belle. Next thing you know, they'll be paving all our gravel roads so as not to get dust on those city-slicker driver's SUVs.

I don't know about the rest of the country folks but I plan to load my shotgun and be on alert for city folks trying to horn in on my little piece of country down here. And for good measure, I'm going to keep on top of things by reading all them farm magazines from now on. If it's shit today, who knows what it'll be tomorrow!


Sally said...

Well, I can certainly see why you're riled up! Just how in the heck are they going to take smell of shit outta shit? New feed? Ain't NO feed for animals or humans that I know, even the humans claim theirs don't stink, can be produced, is there?

Them city slickers can smell it or nove! Better yet, stay the hell in the city where the air is polluted by much nastier smells than s**t. (Thought I was using the word to much).. :)

Hoot Nannie said...

Boy, you just had a whole "shitty" episode there, didn't you? Did your pot sittin' make a smell or have you been eating enough food with moisture?

I'm with everybody else, iffn' they don't want to smell cow poop, then don't move right next to the dumb can they get?

David said...

LMAO - I walked over so much cow poop and sheep pills this weekend that would fill my yard full. The young grandson was afraid to step into it. Thanks for the laugh.

Leslie said...

Good grief. If they can't stand the heat, they should stay the hell outta the kitchen.

Reminds me of some of the tourists who come to visit our elephants at the zoo. The come runnin' out of that large mammal building, holding their noses.

wanda said...

If they can take the smell out of cow shit, do you think they can figure out a way to take the smell outta people shit? Cause I have to tell you the menfolks in my house can sure stink up the place!
That of course is not a problem for me. Since mine always smells like roses.
Great post Bren!!

Joe said...

LOL! What's that smell girl! We cooked fish at the beach Sat. night and the Condo smelled to high heaven all night! Your right not much left to FloriaBama!

Holly said...

if you buy a house downwind of a hog farm (or sheep farm!) you deserve to suffer for your ignorance.


Piggy and Tazzy said...

You know, city folk never amaze me any more.

They (mostly the rich ones) want to have their city apartments, but also a little house (or a big mansion) in the countryside. But then they try and change it from being 'countryside' into something more akin to the city.

The smells, lifestyles, pace of life, friendliness, community and customs - none of them are ever right for them, so they set about changing them.

Before you know it, they own most of the businesses, properties, customs, attitude, workforce and BANG! Countryside changed forever, to suit the city folks.

I watched it happen in my home place in the Highlands of Scotland. The Southerners (mostly Londoners) moved up to our area of the Highlands, mainly because the local airport served London which was only 1 hours flight away and lived there only at weekends. Unhappy with the differing lifestyle, they slowly set about changing it - complaining about the smells, the lack of expensive fashion outlets, the friendly neighbours who they considered 'intrusive' on their lives.

Then they start to stand for the local elections in order to change things forever. Before any of us knew it, the property prices rose though the roof, local people could no longer afford to stay local and a whole generation were alienated from the community they had lived in all their lives.

The complaints about the smell are only the beginning....

Brent said...

I raised hogs as a youth, and I can tell you that there isn't anything as potent as hog poop. The cows and horses didn't even come close. I'd clean hog pens all day and when I went home I had to strip in the garage before I was allowed in the house. Brenda, I know you're picturing my 16 year old bod stripping after shoveling the hog pens. You naughty girl, you!! Anyway, it's time to make a dividing line between city and country!!

tru said...

Man... Brenda, that's why the best selling poster in the area is that of a cowboy, framed with fence wood and barbed wire that says: Keep your city oughta my country.'

What a crock... heh. I remember taking my eldest (then 6 or so) to Spruce Meadows and having been trapped in the city for way too long I was just sucking up the ambience y'know and she pipes up. 'Oh mom it STINKS here' I didn't miss a beat, I looked down and said You are adopted.

Hmm...given her actions of the past couple of years, maybe she is.

Still laughing at the whole potsit remark. Did you happen to read today too? :P


Houston said...

I remember an uncle of mine who always remarked every time we drove by the stockyards. He's say, "Smells like money to me."

Cheers, sugah.

cas said...

I say - If you don't like the ambiance (which includes many different smells) of the country, stay in the city!

It's kind of like people who buy houses backing up to golf courses, and get so upset when they get a broken window from a gold ball.

Or the folks who buy next an airport, and then complain about the noise.

What is it with some people?

John Strain said...

Hmmmm. Maybe you should organize to fight this thing.

Your group could be called: C.R.A.P.

Citizens Riled up About Poop.

Anonymous said...

I agree w/John. C.R.A.P. would be a
good name for a group.

Cal said...

The same thing happens here too, Brenda. I don't know what city people expect when they go to the country. In any case why go if you just want it to be exactly the same!

Joan said...

Pot sitting..HA HA. I think it should that shuld be an olymipic sport!! I have never heard the term before, but Gord certainly does his share around our house. We take two daily papers, the neighbourhood paper, and 5,698 flyers a day keeps that boy on the pot for a good length of time every night.

Takin the smell outta poo, would be like ...I don't know I lost my train of thought LOL..shit..

Mary Lou said...

Piggy and Tazzy hit the nail on the head. It is just starting. We have the same problem here on the island. Seattle people want to get away from the city so they moved to the island and are now bitching about their houses sliding down into the Sound with all the rain, DUH!!!!! Why do you think WE did not build there?

Special K said...

I'm a city girl, and that's for good reason. I like being out in the country every so often, but I would never dream of making my home there. And if I did take it into my head to live in the country, I wouldn't go about making it like the city I left.

Buncha dumbasses.

paulasue said...

You go girl....I feel the same way. Keep me up to date on what you read. I'm moving back to the country and surround myself with all kinds of smelly animals. We can form the C.R.A.P. organization together and I dare city slickers to try to move in on me. Love you and miss you, Sis

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