Thursday, January 05, 2006

Allllrighty Then

I have cold feet and a hand gun, any questions?

I was moaning bragging about the lovely Springish weather we've been having and was wondering if when we were going to have some of that half-assed cold and rotten weather that we have here in the Arkansas delta most winters. It's not that I like Winter ya see, it's that I dislike it when Winter is trying to be sneaky about being Winter,,,when it's being a tease.

I shoulda kept my mouth shut.

This evening I'm suffering from chilled, crunchy ice feelin, feet and I hate having chilled feet. My feet prefer earth sandals and warm rays of sunshine gently caressing them. They do not like being two blocks of flaky, frostbitten, flesh hanging off the end of alligator hide calves.

Flaky, frostbitten feet put me in a bitchy mood, ask the two old geisers who were in front of me in the line at Hayes supermarket where I stopped after I got off work to dash in for a couple of things. They had a smidgen of stuff in their basket and were already being checked out and were in the express lane so what would you think? Less than 10 items, express line, being checked already, hell, I'll be out of here in 10 minutes or less.

Wrong. I knew this the first time old geiser number 1 of the pair pushed pass me to go find the eggs they'd forgotten (fast as a speeding turtle too). I wait, cause I'm bitchy but not so bitchy that I would be rude to the old geisers, (yet) and also, the other two lines, which actually had checkers, which weren't express, had numerous folks in them who appeared to think they were going to starve if they didn't buy out the freakin store on a Thursday evening.

Then old geiser number 2 pushes past to find another forgotten item (OG number 1 hasn't even returned yet mind you) and it was then that bitch opened her mouth, you know, the bitchy one who previously was not rude to old geisers.

"Holy Shit! You mean they're not done shopping yet????"

This retort caused the express lane checker to grab the phone and yell for more checkers and 20 minutes later I was finally out of there. Those 2 old geisers weren't though. They might have been back there in the meat department having them pluck chickens or something by then, who knows?

I finally arrived home in time to tote in the grocery bags, throw some sandwich fixins on the table, and help the Terrorist study for some tests he has tomorrow.

And my feet are still chilly!


tru said...

HAHAHA Once I was inline behind a diva of indeterminant age who apparently couldn't read numbers or thought it was 10 of each item. :P she had about 30 items of makeup and behind her I stood with a 40lb bag of dogfood (darn boxers) on my shoulder. I remarked to the fella infront of me (not realizing it was her hubby) that some people couldn't count. She looked at me and swore in Ukranian, then gasped in shock when I swore back. I think I saw the cashier easing down out of range about then :P.

Sorry about your chilly feet. I'm used to them up here in Canada. Love your blog, enjoy the read. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Mary Lou said...

Want me to crochet you some slippers? My feet stay cold, so I have fuzzy socks and my lands End slippers on

cas said...

I would have done the same. Well, I hope I would have done the same. I have a tendency to suffer in silence, but wish I didn't

sorry about all that cold. We're supposed to get a good shot of that stuff today.

mark said...

Sometimes I need a redneck dictionary, but I think I got the gist. ;)

Holly said...

i hate the cold too. my toes prefer being nekkid or in a nice pair of flipflops.

i never get in the right line. never.

David said...

Man someone needs to put your feet into warm muklucks.

Virginia Gal said...

oh my God I had a similar incident two nights ago at my local grocery store!

I stood in the express lane, two people in front of me. The woman goes to pay for her purchases with a credit card and damn if the machine doesn't work! For the Lord's sake, carry at least $10 on you - geez! So we all had to move to another line - what should have taken me 5 minutes took 1/2 hour. Annoying!

Glad you said something to these rude and inconsiderate people, old or not, they should have moved out of line.

Brenda said...

I had on my fuzzy, warm, Canadian moccasins (did I spell that right?) that Special K sent me for my cold feet last year but the frozen feet were slow to thaw.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Oh gawd, old people in supermarkets are almost as irritating as children in supermarkets.

We feel your pain.

I quite like cold feet though.

Andie Pandie said...

had numerous folks in them who appeared to think they were going to starve if they didn't buy out the freakin store on a Thursday evening

LMAO! That's what I look like. Afraid I'll starve or run out of wine.

Anonymous said...

I never never get in the right lane. I always have the worst nightmare checking out at Wal-Mart.
I acted really bad one night there in Oct. & I swore I would not do that again. I will follow my husband example, say nothing, & leave buggy for them to put the stuff back up.

Tiff said...

I don't even know why they call it "EXPRESS" lane. It never works out that way. I have come to like those places that you can check yourself out!

Kim said...

Lately I have been having the problem with the chills and I can't stand it! Cold hands, cold feet and a cold ass! I dread going to the bathroom because I freeze to the toilet seat!

Joan said...

I see your chillin must have mighty delicate feet .. if a little cold puts them in a bad mood...or were you in a bad mood and your feet were .. I don't know .. now you done gone and mixed me up!!

Joe said...

That chill is here too girl! Will be in the low twenties tonight. Sunday high 65*! Go figure! Mother nature must be mixed up due to all the bad weather last year! Less hope 06 will be better! Man I'm always fussing about the old gesers and I are one! LOL!

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