Monday, December 12, 2005

I just had to share these!

How could I not?

Strange Quotes

To do, is to be. - Socrates

To be, is to do. - Aristotole

Do be do be do. - Sinatra

REAL Strange Classified Ads

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers .

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it!

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere else again.

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience


Joan said...

My fav was "tired of cleaning yourself..let me do it"...HA!!
They were all a hoot!!

I wanna horse for Christmas too. Or maybe I just want to horse around at Christmas, I'm all mixed up and tired from all the decorating and cleaning this weekend. PHEWWWWWWie..
I finally managed to check out some blogs.

Special K said...

The very last one is absolutely spot on.

cassie-b said...

What a great list! My personal favorite is

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

wanda said...

"If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere and Chopin."

Do you get the impression that whomever wrote this didn't quite grasp the meaning of 'immortal' and cemetary?

There are so many good ones there it's hard to pick a favorite. Although I'm rather fond of that one that reads "tired of cleaning yourself, let me do it for you". I could really 'buy' into that one if the 'cleaner' were someone like ....well we won't go there. But you get my drift.

Brent said...

Where do you find this stuff? HAHAHAHHA!

Andie Pandie said...

LOL LOL LOL those were hysterical!

Virginia Gal said...

funny - thanks for the morning laugh!

Leslie said...

These remind me of Johnny Carson's bit on Friday nights: weird headlines (or was it Mondays?)

: )

Happy almost Hump Day, Brenda.

Tuesday doesn't really have anything special goin' for it, does it?

cal said...

That's why I always check what I've written before I send it!

Tiff said...

I love those!!! I had not seen any of those yet!