Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Chainsaw Massacre

Lightening struck and killed our Mimosa tree last spring and James has mentioned the need to cut it down several times since then. The community chainsaw, at the farm shop, is often being used elsewhere or needs repairs so we decided to buy a chainsaw to do the deed.

When we put the chainsaw in the shopping basket yesterday I was just about to tell James that he'd better not be using it to prune every stick standing in the yard but before I could get the words out of my mouth he said, "I can use this to prune some of the lower limbs on the cedar tree." I told him if he started "wacking" at all my trees and bushes, I was going to hide the damned thing!

Lord, protect my bushes from the madman with the chainsaw!

So, when we got home, he reverted back into the "oh man, a new tool/toy/machine" mode and decided that he needed to put it together, right then, in the living room. I was in the utility room but I could hear him muttering to himself while he was trying to figure out which part went where so I yelled, "read the directions!" I heard him muttering a little more, then in a loud voice he said,

"First page,,,WARNING,,, James, don't f*** with this before you read the directions!"

Very humorous but I'm still worried about my poor bushes and trees.


jazzi said...

Hey, at least he's still got a sense of humor!
Chainsaws give me the heebie-jeebies. When I was a teenager, a neighbor got in a fight with his wife about their fence, took his chainsaw to it, and a nail made it bounce back on him. You know what happened next.

Karen H. said...

Good Morning Brenda,
Oh my goodness, I do hope that James doesn't go messing with your other trees and bushes. I can just imagine what you would do if he did. LOL. It's always best to read the instructions first, but I'm one of those that don't like to read instructions. LOL. Oh well, we live and learn. Take care my friend and have a great day. May God Bless You and Yours.

Karen H.

AndiePandie said...

Instead of hiding it, just take the chain off and see how long it takes him to notice. heh.

Donna said...

You Better be worried!!! You better be VERY Worried!! LOL
My Hubby gets a new chainsaw and I know instantly that I'll have to run out in the yard, waving my hands to distract him from my beloved bushes!!! LOL

Crystal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crystal said...

LOL!! And i'll be right behind her with the camera taking pictures!!

Tammy said...

Too funny Brenda! What is it with men I ask ya??

Sally said...

Oh my! You'll be following 'ol James around every time you hear him crank it up. My brother hides every saw he has from my sis-in-law; he has good reason. hahaha

bermudabluez said...

Men and chain saws...a bad combination! I'm afraid for your trees!

Jane said...

Hey g/f, why is when men get a new piece of equipment/tool/what-the-heck-ever, they want to start cutting down everything in sight? Is there something they are inbred with that says... once machine is turned ON, immediately start whacking down bushes, trees and anything in your immediate path? HA HA HA!

Gary got a new chain saw a couple of years ago and be damned if he didn't think he had to "prune" (totally butchered) my lilac bush/tree. Just made me sick, but I didn't say anything. However when he started toward my grape vines, I was out the door like a bat out of hell, waving my arms and screaming at the top of my lungs NO! NO! NO!

Thank goodness he's managed to control his desire to tackle everything that grows and chop it down or "prune" it. LOL

Good luck Brenda... keep us posted.

mreddie said...

A man with a new chainsaw is a dangerous thing. :) I've been dangerous to many trees, plants and bushes myself. It does take a while for the new to wear off. ec

Sandi McBride said...

Oh Lord have mercy Brenda, go hide the chain saw, do it now...I wouldn't trust a man with a chainsaw as far as I could throw him AND the chainsaw! Poor Mimosa...tho they're not long lived trees, they are so pretty while they are...oh, and found you Miz T*mmy's place
Sandi from Holding Patterns