A good un from a fellow blogger

THE RIGHT AGE FOR CUSSING
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old.
"I think it's about time we start cussing."

The 4-year-old nods his head in approval.

The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say "hell" and you say "ass." "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step.

The mom locks him in his room &shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios."

The Postman Cometh

He pulled into my driveway yesterday and tooted his horn. He only does this when I have mail that won't fit into my little rural mailbox that sits on it's post out across the road. When he came to the porch with a package, I believed it to be the knives that hubby ordered a while back but it was lighter than I thought knives would be. When I noticed the return address on the package I became excited because it's not every day that one receives a package from Calgary and I've been so lucky in that I've gotten 2 in the past month.

Special K , with her insight, must have known the status of my feet down here in Arkansas.
cause she sent me the purdiest pair of foot coverings a southern belle could wish for

Since my feet tend to get cold even in spring and summer with the a/c setting that hubby insists on, I won't have to wait until winter to wear these lovely slippers.

Oh, and did I mention she sent Winegums TOO?

Tuesday Evening

After I picked Zach up from school yesterday we had just enough time to struggle through homework , get cleaned up, and head into town for his first ball game where those little guys proceeded to get creamed. I swear the other team were reincarnates of some prime-of-life ball players. At the very least they practice all year round!

Here is a photo of Zach which shows his dismay at what a ballgame for bigger kids is all about. A first game loss after being on a winning Tball team for the past two years is something new but it'll only be new once, right?



After the game we stopped in for take-out at a little Dairy bar near home and as I was juggling camcorder, camra, purse, and ball gear coming into the house, I let the door latch hit me on the elbow. That may be a funny bone there but all I could do was moan until the pain eased enough for me to pick all that junk up again.

During the night as I tried to sleep with my tender elbow getting in the way, I had one of my rare dreams. I don't remember much about it except that it involved me riding on an elephant through a jungle. (Whothehellknows what that was all about). Political nightmare maybe???

That ole elephant must have worn me out cause I sure could have used a few hours more sleep this morning.

Here I go again.

I'm just so fucking stupid sometimes. I called myself being clever, cause I had a copy of my template from late December, I figured I could just copy and paste that to my Front Page program and do my changes then post it,,,TaaaDaaa!!

Right?

Nope.

I've found lots of other righteous bloggers to add to my blog roll and they weren't on my Dec. Template copy.

So back to the drawing board kicking useless self in ass along the way. If I miss anyone PLEASE bring it to my attention cause I really, really suffer from CRS here.

FYI

Joshua B. Bolton

I've been messing with my template so long that my butt's numb. I better go do something else for a bit, even if it's not what I'd prefer doing.

There versus Here

Look at the figures and tell me what they're doing to the U.S. citizens is right.

Zoom it up to 125% so you won't miss a single figure and if page 1 doesn't cut you to the bone, move on to page 2.

My favorite Chris Rock quote:

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of
arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most
powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
Need I say more?""

heh,heh, so true.

Admiration

I admire my fellow bloggers who are able to tell us stories of their youth and growing up. Sometimes as I read their recollections I get a brief glimpse of a memory or two from my own childhood. My memories of those times are far too few.

I don't believe my childhood was so terrible that I've totally blocked things out, but I do believe it was painful enough at times that I subconsiously choose to not remember them. Both of my sisters are younger than I am and I rely on their memories of events in our lives back then much more than I do my own.

We didn't have much in the way of material things but we had a creek and pastures and fields to roam in. As I sit here, I can take my mind back to how the farm looked, my favorite reading spot in a big, old oak tree, the smell of lilacs the spring we lived in Minnesota, the freezing cold in the winters there. I remember the birth of my youngest sister, barely, but only because of a remark my father made when he told us we had another little sister. I just can't put together enough memories to completely describe very many details of these events.

I really think I've just been old my whole life.

I had the Chickie all day today

and Zach had ball practice.

Need I say more?

I need a day in bed.

Or a week.

Friday I did the volunteer thing at the Wild Hog Music Fest where it rained, and rained, and rained, so I had to work inside the saloon. It wasn't too bad though since I saw a lot of folks that I haven't seen in awhile and had fun catching up.

The rain kept me from being able to get photos of a lot of very fine motorcyles though.


This one belongs to one of the local riders.


I think by the time they all drove through the rain storms to get to Helena, there were about 1000 motorcycles down on Cherry Street.


We had our own lovely police officer to stand watch over the beer bar at the saloon.


Kurt, an old friend, was in town from Fayettville, AR. He was soaked to the skin but turned down our offer to let him wander about in his undies while his jeans dried.


Nada and another volunteer, James, trying to look busy behind the bar.


Joyce makes sure we all do our jobs. I don't know what main street Helena would do without her!

The Chickie came for a visit today.

First she had to show me her newly painted piggies.



Then after the clouds passed and the sun popped out, she tried her hand at a few April puddles.



Lastly came her first golf lesson from PopPop using Zach's clubs and one of his baseballs.

You're never too young

to let a girl talk you into some of the most truly stupid things.



He's gonna really dislike me one day for making him pose for this.

It's Raining.

Am I happy?

NO.

Himself is around the house making me nuts.

Dammit!

I spent all day yesterday thinking it was the 21st. Now I find out this morning that TODAY is the 21st. My mind has given me a day to live over again so why do I feel so danged disappointed?

The meaning of success depends on a man's age:

At age 4, success is not wetting his pants.
Between age 15 and 30, success is "getting a little."
Between age 31 and 64, success is about career and/or family.
Between age 65 and 89, success is "getting a little."
At age 90, success is not wetting is pants.

Rude awakening.

I snached myself out of bed at 4 a.m. this morning folks. I swear it was the fastest I've moved since about 1999!

I awoke to an urgent tug on my big toe and groggily looked down to the foot of the bed to see Zach standing there.

"Get UP, Nanaw,,get up, there's a big spider in the bed"!!

About mid-way through that remark I hit the floor running and swiping at imagined arachnids that I could feel crawling all over me! After I came to the end of my running room, I ventured back into the bedroom and turned on lamps and overhead light to carefully strip the bed to see if I could find the sneaky bastard.

All I found was a dream catcher that Zach had brought to bed with him. I sure hope that was the culprit cause damn I hate spiders!

Since I didn't feel I could safely get back into that bed, we both curled up on the couch and watched TV until time for cereal and coffee.

That reminds me,,,,,,

Last week at the tax office there was a humogous spider in the bathroom sink. I tried to drown him and he survived that so I sprayed about half a bottle of 409 on his 8-legged ass. That killed him. (just thought ya'll might be able to use that information some day)

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE AT A REDNECK WEDDING

10. Rehearsal dinner held at Hooters

9. Instead of "Friends of the bride or friends of the groom?" Ushers ask "Ford Or Chevy?"

8. Bridesmaids: Pink Tube Tops Groomsmen: Travis Tritt T-Shirts

7. Phrase "I Do" replaced by "I Heard That"

6. Tender rendition of "The Wedding Song" performed by Pinkard & Bowden

5. When the minister asks "Who giveth this woman to be married"... some guy in the back stands up and hollers "Earnhardt!"

4. Reception conversation includes the phrase, "So what have you been doing since Hee Haw, Mr. Lindsay?"

3. Snack trays at reception: Vienna sausages and Nacho Cheese Doritos

2. Plans for the honeymoon evening include tickets to the monster truck rally

....And The Number One Way To Tell If You're At A Redneck Wedding...

Sign in front of the church: No Shirt... No Shoes... No Problem!

Now that's good icecream!

Wild Hog Music Festival 2004

Not wanting to tramatize anyone who might have the image of this old broad chasing wild piggys down main street Helena, I thought I'd post the link to save ya'll from the nightmares.

Miz Kim, this is especially for you! (big grin).

Color me cooked

Another day outdoors on a windy, sunny day and I'm medium rare.



I do believe I'll sit in the shade during Zach's ball practice late this afternoon.

This week is going to be fairly busy. Today I have the girls until around 3 or so, then Zach's late ball practice. I have to do some shopping one day to find the rest of the equipment that Zach's going to need for baseball and Abie and Jerri have birthday's this week.

I had a call yesterday asking if I'd volunteer to sell beer at the Wild Hog Festival in Helena on Friday. I'm also supposed to attend their volunteer party Thursday evening to pick up my volunteer pass. It should be fun cause I enjoy meeting new folks and watching the drunken activities. (grin).

No rest for the wicked

I woke up too early this morning, but had full intentions of taking a nap later in the morning. That didn't work out as Jami and the girls were here about mid-morning and by the time they left it was too near time to take Zach to ball practice.

I'm still feeling pretty crappy and on top of the stuffy, head pounding, achy feelings, I've got a few spots of poison ivy on my right arm and left hip. (before you ask, ,,Hell, I don't know. Still trying to figure it out myself). So here I sit, sniffin and scratchin.

After ball practice was over at around 4, we came home and James cooked some burgers on the grill. Jami and the girls came by again and stayed for supper.

It was a beautiful day to be outdoors even if I did feel like crap.



My azaleas are bloomin



And my irises

Ok, here's the deal

I can't see nuttin in my outlook express. The emails are there but the preview is blank as well as the email itself when I open it. This sucks.

I downloaded the email program that Wanda suggested but through it can only get text messages, no attachments. I'll all up in attachments cause I surely do love those photos and cartoons from friends. This sucks.

I can't reinstall IE6 the way I'd prefer cause it won't install over the same version (does that sentence make a lick of sense?)

Soooooooooo......what I've decided to try, and mind you this is a long drawn out ordeal from a 56k modem (which on good days gets a 26k connection), is install Netscape 7.1 (as I'm doing as I type this), then uninstall any and all IE6 programs from my machine, then do a new installation of IE6. Outlook express comes in the IE6 download and I since I can't find a place to just install outlook express, this seems like the only thing to do at this point.

This should take most of the day I think.

Oh, and did I mention that Zach has ball practice over in north Helena at 2? (I'll have to leave here at 1:30 to get there on time).

Not feeling too perky.

Stuffy, coughing, droopy, watery, itchy eyes.
Feel like I've been rode hard and put up wet.

In a pissy mood

My Outlook Express email is not working on my home computer. Who knows what the hell I did while trying to get rid of an overwhelming blast of pop-ups, but I did something. My next trick will be to reinstall IE6 all over again on my puter. This does not make for a happy lady here folks.

Another life lesson learned

Make every word count. Say what you need to with as few words as possible.

And carry a big stick.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Here's an update for you.....
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.

Why?

Because women realize its not worth buying an entire Pig,....
Just to get a little sausage.

Are these sweeties or what?

Abie and Alexis (Chickie)


Zach, MeriKate, Krysten, Abie, and Jessie (from next door)

I'm behind on my reading again.

Ya'll be patient with me. It's raining, which means hubby not able to get in the fields and he's home and a perpetual pain in my ass!!

Warning: My dengenerate mind at work

Bubba and Jimmy


One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.


"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"



"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.



"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?"



"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened.

We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere.
Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive,
and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out,
threw off all her clothes and said,

'Bubba, take whatever you want'.


So I took the truck!"

Another sign of Spring.

As though all the green showing up wasn't enough, here's the sweet. little momma dove that nests in our cedar tree.

Easter Eve

As I raised my head from my drool dribbled pillow this morning and looked at the clock my first thought was HOLY SHIT!!! My turkey's still frozen and I'm screwed! I dragged my old, lazy butt outta that bed and into the kitchen for a hit of coffee to get my eyes open before I started thinking about how I was going to get that bird unstiffened in time to have dinner at a reasonable time.

I eventually decided to zap him, pressure cook him, then bake him in the oven with my famous cornbread dressing. Dinner was not done by 12, but we did have a pretty good spread by around 1:30 so all was not lost.

Jerri and Jami hid the easter eggs (they decided to hide plastic ones to save on laundry stain remover from the dyed ones), the little ones scooted out and found them in the rain drenched grass and flowers, and everyone finally got away from here a little while ago.

It's been a long day folks. Hope everyone had a happy Easter!!

I appreciate my visitors.

I appreciate each and every time you take the time to come by and visit me to read my ramblings and leave me a comment about what you think. I feel honored that you trust me with your thoughts and feelings about different subjects that may pop into this ditzy head of mine.

When I discovered that Mr. Big Dick had decided to ban my comments to his blog I was mighty hurt. Hell, everyone wants to be liked and I'm no different. I'm one of those folks that feels guilty for any wrong that is done, even if I didn't do the wrong cause it's just possible that something I said or something I did that I didn't know was wrong was,,,well,,,wrong.

I made the decision shortly after the first wave of hurt feelings to put this stuff behind me. So what if I am no longer a part of his comment harem? I can still visit his site if I'm in one of those moods when a hit of selfrightious hate is what I think I need to get through the day, right? I can also be thankful that nothing has happened in my life that was bad enough that I had to think that it would make me feel better about myself to deliberately hurt someone else by what I did or said. I hope that I wouldn't be able to live with myself at that point.

I sincerely hope that no other reader of Dick decides to comment with a different opinion cause banishment is a very sad feeling indeed.

I'm hurt, bewildered, and upset.

I've been banned and blocked and deleted from Big Dick's Place because I agreed with him that I'm a fucking idiotic moron who was dropped on her head for not having the same opinion as he does.

I'm hurt because I feel I've lost a good friend and have been judged, found guilty, and sentenced because of my opinions.

I will not be deleting the link to his site on my page because I really think he writes a fine blog even if I don't always agree with him.

Another long afternoon

We spent most of the afternoon with the psychologist that Doc Bell sent Zach to. I was really impressed with this lady and in the way she dealt with Zach. Her evaluation was very through and I felt good that she immediately recognized his distress at being there . She carried out her exam by letting him play with toys in her office as she observed his reactions to questions that she had for him and me. She feels certain that he's suffering from Post Traumatic Stress and told us that since it's so soon after the trauma of the accident he'll quickly overcome this with a little help.

On Monday he has an appointment to see the phychiatrist for another exam and she told us to expect the possibility of a prescription to help him rest better at night. Right now he's waking up several times a night crying and whimpering and a couple of times he's walked in his sleep during these night terrors. I know that he's not getting enough sleep because he's acting out way more than normal and is so grumpy by mid-afternoon that I'm ready to hang him from a pole so that I can get a break.

Anyway, things are going to be fine!

AND our MeriKate was playing within a few hours of her little surgery yesterday so all is going to be fine. I can just feel it!
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Tomorrow we're going to paint and dye Easter eggs. I think this Nanny is going to uncork that bottle of muscadine wine chilling in the fridge too so those eggs may be very colorful indeed!!

Happy Easter!!!!!

I am a woman of great and varied and mostly useless knowledge.

It was the worst round of golf that he'd ever played. All he hit was two good balls,

And that was because he stepped on a rake!

I'm so tired

I don't think I could even dodge a bullet at the moment.

MeriKate's surgery turned out very well and they arrived home around 1:30 this afternoon. They took her in at 5:30 this morning so at least she didn't have to stay over there all day today. Now we just wait for the nerves and muscle to heal so they can reverse what they did today.
*******************************************************************
The girls weren't too bad at the office today but I kept having to remind them that the office chairs weren't a new carnival ride and promise them Wacky Paks from Sonic to get them to behave. I managed to get 3 federal and 3 state tax returns done whilst babysitting.
******************************************************************
I'm going to have to make sure I go over every item of Zach's homework from now on. I had to edit his homework last night. He was mad at me because I wouldn't let him go outside to play yesterday until his homework was finished so he paid me back when he wrote his 5 reading word sentences. I do believe he'd have been banished from first grade had the teacher read his sentences which included the words "tits" and "butt". I sure am glad I checked over his homework before I sent him to school with it.
*******************************************************************

I'm off to the office this morning

with Krysten and Abie in tow. I'll only been working this morning cause Zach gets out of school early too. I'll be back later this afternoon if the guys in the white coats don't get me first.

Danielle Eliza Hubertina Soons Reyner

You can understand why we shortened her name to Soony (with her permission) within the first few days of her arrival.

In the spring of 1989 we were asked by the music professor at the local community college if we'd consider being a host to a foreign exchange student for the following school year. After much discussion, we decided that we would. I had worries about it at first due to it being our oldest daughter's senior year in high school. I didn't want her to feel that she'd be tied down by having to entertain someone during one of the most important years of her life. I need not have worried about this because Trish took things in stride and made sure that they both had a good year.

Soony fit in and became a part of our family from the very first day. We'd spent a lot of time with our coordinator and other families going over such things as culture shock and language problems, but Soony seem to skip right through all of that. I can remember only one time when she came home from school crying because she felt she really didn't understand what the English teacher expected of them. She wasn't satisfied with getting by, even though that year of school didn't count for anything for her in her country. I helped her for a week or two and that was all that she needed to go on with it.

When time for graduation rolled around, her parents came over from Holland and spent two weeks with us and her aunt and uncle who'd immigrated to the US many years prior also came for a few days. It was fantastic being able to meet her family since many of the host families don't.

In August, 1995 James and I went to Holland to visit for 16 days. We went somewhere different every day we were there and since the German and Belgium borders were very close we also spent some time in those countries.

Danielle has been back to visit 3 times since she lived with us that 10 months 14 yrs ago and during her last visit (which was a total surprise to me) I promised her that when she decided to marry I'd be there for the wedding.

Now I have to keep my promise. I must apply for a new birth certificate and passport since mine were lost in the fire but I think she's given me plenty of notice and lots of time to think of a really great wedding gift.


A windmill outside of Stein, near Maastricht.


Belgium

I won't claim to be right.

But I will claim my right to my opinion.

Shock



and Awe

Wouldn't it be great to be this happy with life?

We can't forget the children

The fight against terrorism may be a necessary evil but who among us will forget the children? If we do anything over in Iraq, I hope it's soon enough to allow these children to be able to have plenty to eat, a decent place to live, and peace of mind so that they can be children in every sense.

They've never known freedom. Will they now?

Breathless

Yesterday as I was filling out the sign-in stuff for Zach's appointment with the doc, I was overwhelmed with this most horrible fart cloud. I looked down at Zach, who was standing beside me, and he shrugged his shoulders to let me know that he wasn't responsible (this time). There was only one other person around, another patient, waiting her turn at the sign-in sheet, so I had strong suspicions that she was the responsible fart perpetrator. The last few lines of that form were probably unreadable as I hurriedly scratched out information with breath held and watering eyes. Zach and I then made our way to the far side of the room to sit and wait.

My luck tends to run in the wrong direction so it didn't surprise me to the extreme when "fart" lady comes and sits in our area. After about 5 minutes she cuts loose another gassy cloud whilst discussing the cut on her foot as her reason for being there. I couldn't help but think she needed to have the doc check out the swampy gas problems that were occurring.

I'm happy to say that we were able to escape to the exam room shortly thereafter thus avoiding a fainting fit on my part from trying to hold my breath for an extended period.

I'm behind on reading my favorite blogs.

But I promise to catch up tomorrow! I have a free day (I hope) to myself.

If these are really true the school system needs to educate parents!

Student Absentee Excuses

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real
notes written from parents in a school district who's name I will not mention (Spellings have been left intact.)

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please
execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32,
and also 33

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a
tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He w as hurt
in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his
boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the
Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it
was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yester day. He had a cold and could
not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't
the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going
around, her father even got hot last night.

Now I wait for the date

I just got a call from our Soony in Holland and it appears that I'll be making the promised trip to attend her wedding in the fall. She's thinking maybe some time in October so I may not be able to attend the Blues Fest this year.

I hope the airlines start having some price wars before then!

I know for sure I'm losing it

Last night, in my excitement over having control of the remote for a few seconds, I was pushing the buttons and nothing was happening. I was about to get plumb flustered until it finally sunk in that I had the phone in my hand and not the remote.

How stupid do you think I felt?

Sitting on Sunday's list

I got NOT one thing on the list done yesterday. Now I'm off to take Zach to see the doc cause his appt was changed from Friday.

Geez I wish they'd replace Monday with another day. Maybe shuffle em around every week and let it be a surprise.

Chickie's getting all set for Easter

She really has a lot of patience with her mommy and Nanny when they get out the cameras


They tried this photo with a real bunny and the Chickie wasn't having any of that. They ended up having to hide the bunny in the basket.

I found this over at StrangeCosmos

Learn Your State Motto

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Florida: Home of the headless drivers

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To an Attorney .....

Texas: Si' Hablo Ingles

Wisconsin: Cheese Munching Packer Fans Enjoying the Two Weeks of Summer

Go here for your statehttp://www.strangecosmos.com/read.adp?joke_id=4521

Movin S L O W

I think I've found muscles never before known to man and I'm not sure this is a good thing. I can't stop though, today's agenda includes

Putting the rest of my bloomin plants out somewhere

Working up the dirt so I can place those pine nuggets under my azelias

Unloading all the junk that has accumulated in my truck

Finish up one tax return and start another

I'm thinking I might get moving on all this about noon.

Saturday

I had big plans today. I bought my little bloomin plants yesterday for my flower boxes, 2-40lb bags of top soil, and 2-big-ass bags of pine pellets. I was going to get it on out there in the dirt today.

I woke up with the usual one child. By 9:30, Jami had dropped off 2 more on her way to taking another to the doctor. These 3 and I went to a flea market that Jerri's mother owns to look around and the Chickie was there and I ended up with a total of 4 chillens before 11 am.

I herded them all indoors and in front of cartoons until Jami picked up Krysten and Abie at around 1. Then Zach, the Chickie, and I went outside and filled flower boxes and planters with topsoil and put in about half the plants I'd bought.

We had to break so Chickie could have a new diaper installed and a little entergizing nap then went back outdoors and fertilized and watered what we'd done before.

The rest of the plants, the clearing, turning and placing of pine nuggets under the azaleas will have to wait until tomorrow since I ran out of energy and daylight.

I know better than to plan big. I have way too many outside influences to even imagine that I might plan anything at all!

I'm gonna go eat my bowl of soup now and see if I can talk Zach into behaving himself long enough for me to have a soaking bath. I smell like I've been fooling around with Special K's dog.

Ya'll don't forget!

Saturday Morning

Yesterday I thought I was having another bird tragedy. Last year's sight of baby birds on the ground, after Krysten (number 3 granddaughter) shook the birdhouse pole, is forever ingrained in my memory so when I saw what I thought was an adult bird (purple martin) on the ground, I was frantic.

I was already in the truck and backing out of the drive when I saw the flapping wings below the birdhouse so I pulled up closer to see what was going on. What I found was not one bird, but two. They appeared to be seriously fighting but I still wasn't sure with all the frantic wing fluttering and flapping. So I honked my truck horn several times until they finally broke up and flew up into the bird house.

As I was on my way to pick Zach up I started worrying. The birds hadn't appeared to be hurt so what if I'd messed up a breeding practice and had scarred these birds for life by honking at them? I called James in his truck and asked him if there was a difference in coloring in the male and female martins. He said there was so I now know that it was two males that I'd seen fighting.

He informed me that they sometimes fight to claim ownership of a nesting spot and also over female birds, but he'd never seen them on the ground before.

I hope these two will become friends now and that I didn't totally mess up their selection ritual.

Some people REALLY need a sign.

I stopped and bought a paper the other day on my way to pick Zach up from school. I always read Dr. Gott's articles on the Delta Express page cause sometimes he has some really interesting tidbits in there. The following gave me reason to think Dr. Gott just may have a sense of humor.

Dear Dr. Gott:

For years I've tried everything my doctor recommended, plus everything advertised on television, for hemorrhoids. Nothing works.

Sunday evening I had dinner with friends. One of the women is a nut about Jell-O, believing that it is good for everything that ails you. In desperation I gave it a try the following morning. I cooked it according to the the directions on the package and applied it to the inflamed area.

It did nothing except make a horrible stain on my new white linen slacks.

Perhaps I shouldn't have used strawberry.

Do you think Lemon Jell-O, or perhaps plain gelatin, would have been better? Someone else at the table suggested roasted garlic, but I don't think he was serious.
What do you think?

(at this point I'm sitting alone in my truck howling with laughter and I haven't even gotten to Dr. Gotts reply)

Dear Reader:

Boy, that must have been some fascinating dinner party, with hemorrhoids the thrust of the discussion. Couldn't you have spent just a little time on George W.?

Now to business:

Lemon Jell-O won't help your problem either. Troublesome hemorrhoids that don't respond to suppositories (either prescription or OTC) should be examined by a doctor.

But. Here is another option that many readers claim has brought relief.

Apply Vicks VapoRub to the affected area twice a day. I've been assured relief may occur immediately after the first application.

(by this time I was laying in the seat of the truck, too weak to sit up from laughing so hard).

What I WANT to do

What I've had to do

Thursday

I am so far gone today that I don't even have words to describe it.

Hope everyone had a good day!