Posted by Brenda ::
7/06/2005 02:36:00 PM ::
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Heh, heh, heh
The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not..oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross.Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is..oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It\'s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It\'s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don\'t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you\'ll have to learn it first.
Posted by Brenda ::
7/06/2005 12:36:00 AM ::
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Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I heard it thunder
But I musta slept through the storm. I'd already been outside this morning and looked around to see if anything blew away during the night but I failed to look over next door. Zach came in a little while ago and wanted me to look over at the neighbors to see something, he said, "I just can't describe it Nanaw". I reckon I'm a deep sleeper, even walking around outside in the mornings.
Posted by Brenda ::
7/05/2005 12:43:00 PM ::
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Damn Blogger Anyway
Stuff just isn't posting right today and I applied the fix that Brent mentioned and it still doesn't work. I'm getting ready to toss the whole damned thing!
Posted by Brenda ::
7/05/2005 10:23:00 AM ::
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Monday, July 04, 2005
Happy July 4th!
I'm firecrackered, cooked, heat stroked, and stuffed so I reckon it's been a pretty fine day here. Now I need for some red-neck fairy to flitter by and clean my house and do up my laundry and I'd be one happy belle.
We made it back from Frog Jump last night right before dark so we decided to do the fireworks last night instead of waiting until tonight because my son has to be up for work at 3:30 in the morning. They were right purdy but it was a bit hard to concentrate when every time you took a deep breath the skeeters tried to bite out your tonsils. They were that thick out there, I promise. We didn't get many bites for the most part because we used the neighbor's and Bubbie's supply of insect repellent and had 2 fans going full blast out there too.
A few folks asked about the location of this place called Frog Jump so I put some dots on a yahoo map for ya. It's really just a spot in the road in Crockett County, Tennessee, above Memphis about 65 -70 miles or so.
We're the gold dot by the 49 emblem over in Arkansas and Frog Jump is the gold dot right above Jackson, Tennessee.
We think it's really pretty country with it's rolling hills and hollows. All we have here are flat lands and cotton and rice fields so you can imagine how big a change it is for we Mississippi River deltians. Actually, I think over half of Arkansas is hilly with a couple of small mountain ranges, just not along here where we live near the river. We do have Crowley's Ridge between us and the Helena over by the river so we have a hill or two nearby if we get the urge to see one up close without having to drive a couple or 3 hours to find one.
I hope everyone is having a grand ole time today and stayed safe!
Posted by Brenda ::
7/04/2005 04:42:00 PM ::
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Sunday, July 03, 2005
Be back after our trip to Frog Jump, TN
Posted by Brenda ::
7/03/2005 09:59:01 AM ::
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Saturday, July 02, 2005
A little rain and a lotta sunshine
We had a short but relieving rain during the early morning hours yesterday but then the sun broke through and turned our little spot in the country into a sauna. Thinking it would be a tad cooler if I went out while the grass was still glittering with dew this morning, I put on my old beach floppers and went to pull some weeds. Thirty minutes later I was drenched as though I'd been in a steamy shower, so the outdoor work today has been sort of the in and out kind. Out to do a little work, then back in to dry off the sweat and cool off a bit before wading back out into the humidity once again.
I picked up the yard, toys, toys, and more toys, so the mower wouldn't shred them into more work (to pick up) then James and Bubbie went to the corn field and brought home 125 ears of corn to shuck as we sat beneath the cypress tree. They'll probably go back on Monday to pull a few more ears to cut from the cob. In a bit I'll call down to the corner to order a Pizza Pro pizza and boil up a pot of that corn for supper.
We had another one of the bad news calls this morning. James's cousin (second cousin)died this morning after more than a year long battle with cancer. Tomorrow we'll drive to Frog Jump, Tennessee and attend the visitation at the funeral home in Halls. The funeral is Monday and the kids have already planned on a cook-out here so we'll pay our respects tomorrow instead.
Of all of hubby's family, I believe I loved Amos Earl (and yep, he went by both names) the most. He was always a joker and was the family historian. He'd traced that branch of the family tree a long ways back and it was neat to find out that one of James's grandmother's family was once the vice-president of the United States. I don't remember which one he was, but I reckon he had to be one of the redneck ones. This branch of the family was also one of the old slave owning plantation families but after the civil war things took a downward turn and over the decades the land had to be sold off.
I've finished my coffee break now so I'll go call in that pizza order and get the corn to boiling. I hope everyone is having a grand holiday weekend!
Posted by Brenda ::
7/02/2005 03:26:00 PM ::
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Friday, July 01, 2005
Dealing with the burdens of life:
Don’t ever listen closely to the Sponge Bob theme song. It will lodge itself in your brain, and days later you could find yourself in a biker’s bar with Hell’s Angels and you’ll still be singing that song. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.Never buy a car you can't push.Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once..A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Posted by Brenda ::
7/01/2005 09:01:00 AM ::
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