Sunday, February 05, 2006

Discomforts, Disturbances, and Diasters



My sister has this mountain top that she'll be building a cabin on,,literally,,log by log, on the weekends and other spare moments. So far she's working on the out-buildings so she can have a dry place to do the preps before building the actual cabin. This is her dream and I'm proud that she's working so hard to make it come true. I'm also proud that she understands that a cabin atop a mountain with ticks, and bobcats, and bears, (and probably Big Foot), isn't my cup of tea although it will be most wonderful to visit her there. I'm not a town girl by any means, hell I've got one more neighbor now than I prefer (2), but I am partial to electricity, running water, and an indoor toilet so any time I lack any of these niceties, I tend to freak. My idea of roughing it is a Motel 6 on a bare stretch of interstate. I have, on two occasions, camped out, and on both trips I suffered from the three D's;

Discomfort, Disturbances, and Diasters.

The discomforts included every rock, twig, stick, and pine cone in the vicinity somehow ending up beneath whichever sort of bedding I was to sleep on. Before morning my back felt as though I'd been sleeping on boulders and the entire pine tree. There's no such thing as soft ground, not when you're trying to sleep on it. Peeing in the woods can also be included as a discomfort because I've never, ever, been able to manage it without peeing in my right shoe,, don't ask me why, but no matter how hard I try, that foot is going to get wet if I squat. Actually, I don't remember if this has been a life-long problem, maybe it didn't matter so much when I was a kid to have a squishy right shoe.

Then there are the disturbances. It's very dark in the woods at night and very noisy. I'm not afraid of the dark but I do get very nervous when I can't see what's making the noises in the dark. Of course there is the possibility that I wouldn't want to see what was making the noises but I do feel better if I know whether I should haul-ass or huddle down with a shotgun during such occasions. Trees even make strange noises at night, I betcha didn't know that, didja? Sometimes the noises will lead you to believe that Big Foot, or a dinosaur is coming right through the tent. Opossums and raccoons are only cute, little, critters during the daylight, at night they turn into people-eating carnivors. This is true! I've tried to blame these beliefs on a sleep depraved mind but that only works when the sun comes up. Anyhow, camping, in the dark, around trees, is very disturbing to me.

Lastly are the diasters. The worst of these was waking up in the morning, after sleeping atop the levee to avoid the blood hungry mosquitos, to find that you threw down your bedroll atop a cow paddy and the smell of frying bacon over a camp fire isn't the only outdoorsy aroma you've got going on. Having to try to scrub the stain and stench off in the same pond the cows are using is pretty high up on my diaster meter too. Actually, that probably wasn't as bad as having to go to the doctor the next day to get a shot so the swelling would go away from all those bites by the blood hungry mosquitos.

So there you have it, I'm no Daniel Boone, or even his wife, or step-sister. Nope, not one little bit. Sorry sister of mine.

13 comments:

Hoot Nannie said...

I'm with you on that camping thing! Now days I wouldn't feel safe in a tent and not only because of animals. Those thair two legged humans have some bad species hanging around everywhere!!

Hope your week is a good one, Brenda.

me said...

I agree completely! My son has gone out camping, and says it's just wonderful. No, thanks. It's beyond me how it can be relaxing when there's twice the work getting food ready, cleaning up and keeping warm (or cool). Blech.

Cal said...

Never been camping and never wanted to. I hate creepy crawlies!

David said...

Seems as if there was an old TV show that someone tried to build a log cabin up on the mountain - The Waltons I think. LOL Good on her.

Andie Pandie said...

A cabin I can understand, but she really won't have any running water or electric? Ooooo I can't do that either. :lol:

Leslie said...

What a huge undertaking that is -- good for her. Pretty cool that she'll be able to stand back and say "I built that".

I've never learned how to not soak my right shoe either, Brenda. I check out the slope like a pro golfer lines up a putt, and I still can't get it.

As much as I absolutely love spending time in a cabin, no electricity is about where I draw the line too.

Mary Lou said...

Wimp!! I LOVE to camp, BUT!! I do have to have a bathroom with running water, and not one of those stinky pits!! I can take the hard ground, and I can take the cold, but I am terrified of the dark, always have been. So I have to camp next to the pottie, cause I have to get up and pee about 30 times a night!!

Joe said...

Sounds like Mary Lou has my kidnies (the size of a pee)! I don't care to rough it eather girl! I enjoy geting out but noing i'll be heading home! Have a good week!

Special K said...

I hear ya. As romantic a notion it is to sleep under the stars, wake up to the smell of bacon sizzling in a cast iron pan over a crackling campfire, it amounts to a whole lot of inconvenience, really. I can successfully rough it for a maximum of 4 days before the ever-present fear of gnats crawling up my ass every time I have a piddle becomes insurmountable, and I can't wait to be safely in the warm embrace of civlization.

Nature: a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

wanda said...

I can sleep under the stars on my patio. And I don't have to pee on my left foot while enjoying it. Yes, for some reason it's MY left foot.
I went camping once. In Alaska. Now if you know anything about Alaska you KNOW you don't go camping during 'break up'. It's wet. And I mean WET. Sleeping in the back of a station wagon with four children who are cold, wet, tired and hungry, is NOT my idea of fun. And we won't even talk about the peeing situation.
If I get a wild hair up my butt and want to rough it, I'll meet you at the Motel 6 on that deserted stretch of the interstate. Hopefully there will be a Denny's nearby!

Brent said...

My wife agrees with you. Here idea of roughing it is if the motel doesn't have a hot breakfast in the morning.

Phyllis said...

I love to camp and rough it! There are ways to make it comfortable. When I go camping everybody hangs around my campsite!!
Coffee cans work well as potties!
Mary Lou afraid of the dark??!! She is the one that terrified me with the one eyed monster!!

Tiff said...

Ha! I am with you - I sure like the comforts of modern society; however, I don't mind an occasional camping trip though most of them have had something go wrong!