Sunday, November 27, 2016

If stress can kill you, there's no doubt that I should be dead from it. Living with this male man-child has beaten me down more than anyone can imagine. I've tried to vent a little to a family member, and once to a friend, and both said that I should kick him out, make him leave, that's what they would's easier said than done folks.  My emotions get in the way of doing what's best for me.

He has stolen from me, everything from my wedding band to cash and checks. I've talked with the sheriff, and his deputies. They "have a talk with him".  He's had counseling and promises of counseling, or at least what passes for that in our area.  There was a visit to a psychiatrist, then the second visit was via video conference. The third video conference, when I had questions about just exactly when he would actually advise us about what to do about his behavior, I was informed that his counselor would be handling that because his job was simply to prescribe his meds, the counselor would handle the behavior problems.                                                                      
I freaking understand that there are problems when dealing with ADHD but there has been little help available in preparing him to live in an adult world and taking on adult responsibilities.  I've done as much as I know how to do.

I'm tired. Mind, body, and soul.


Sally said...

I love you Ms Brenda. There are no words for what you're going through. I just hate that you have to. Other people can tell us what they would do, but how can they do that? We can walk in similar shoes, but no two walks are exactly alike. When we're dealing with loved ones issues, our life's blood, all that any of us here on the outside, can do is pray. And, I am.


Jeanette said...

I'm sorry for what you are going through, Brenda. You don't need this heartbreak. I know you love him but hard as it may be, tough love sometimes is the only way he will see the wrongs he's doing. I'll keep you in my prayers, my friend.

Donna said...

I haven't been on here much lately and you surely don't want my advice but here is what WE did with our Jim...
All the bad behavior is going to continue and steadily grow in strength. He feels like he's king of his own destiny so nothing matters to him but self satisfaction. He will say terrible things to people he use to hug and love...he'll leave for days on end, never telling you where he's at or if he's safe...and he'll dare you to intervene or demand anything from him. His life, His rules and you can go get F***ed...but if you're nice to him and give him money, he might hang around and let you fawn over him...only until something better comes along, then it's adios until Christmas (he might be given some money) or something he can pawn.

I can't tell you the years we spent crying...wishing...praying...over our son. But one thing we finally learned...stopping OUR bad behavior was a must! We had to learn to love him enough to let him go...He's hurting and wondering why his world is so screwed up. He does not yet understand a huge part of the responsibility belongs to him. And Girlfriend? There's nothing more you can do for him right now...but!! You must end his ability to continue his bad behavior towards You. Today, The End... He will either wake up or he will continue to hurt those who love him. HIS choice.
Now that I've had my say, the rest is up to you. You will either continue on or you'll stop in your tracks and realize you're you simply don't deserve this.
Our son now lives in Quanah Tx, holds down two jobs. I get loving phone calls and the begging for money has completely stopped. Hopefully he's paying his child support...that's up to him. Sound callous? No...we went to bail him out of jail on four different occasions (child support warrants)bought him vehicles, rent...on and on....You want to talk tired?Hahaa...girl, I should write a book.
We still love him but it became time for him to get ON with his life. It lasted for, lets see...1987 until 2015...NO one can say we didn't try our hearts out...
We are just now, beginning to breathe again.
Don't do what we wasn't worth it. To him OR to us...
Jim thought we would continue on...he found out, almost too late that we wouldn't stay around for the abuse.
Now he Has to do it...he's truly the master of his destiny.
And yes...I'll tell you what was once said to me, "Do what you can live with..."
Babydoll, I milked that saying for all it was worth! I was an idiot who just loved her son.
I will NEVER allow him to treat us that way again. Ever.