(If
this doesn't make you laugh, just go ahead and close
your casket!)
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very
serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and
distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers
from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for
$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack,
Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The
minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were
likely capable of selling some
Bibles.
But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always
kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the
minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away
with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet
with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the
following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the
minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our
Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the
church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his
hand..."You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to
you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the
church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out
his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28
Bibles
on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'
The minister
responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional
salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively,
the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any
Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large
envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is
this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one
week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison.
"We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister
agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this,
Louie."
Louie shrugged.. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know
f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted.
"For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they
answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis
replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or---
wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and
r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
Remember when the funniest jokes were
the clean ones?
They still are!
your casket!)
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very
serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and
distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers
from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for
$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack,
Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The
minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were
likely capable of selling some
Bibles.
But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always
kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the
minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away
with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet
with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the
following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the
minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our
Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the
church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his
hand..."You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to
you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the
church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out
his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28
Bibles
on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'
The minister
responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional
salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively,
the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any
Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large
envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is
this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one
week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison.
"We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister
agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this,
Louie."
Louie shrugged.. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know
f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted.
"For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they
answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis
replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or---
wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and
r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
Remember when the funniest jokes were
the clean ones?
They still are!
