You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I've learned an awful lot over the past half century (geez that sounds ancient, don't it?) As a kid I learned,

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.

It is not a good thing to torment the emotionally frail.

I would not squeak chalk.

Instigating a revolution can mean detention.

You are not allowed to hide behind the Fifth Amendment at a young age.

It's not a good idea to bring frogs to class

You do not have diplomatic immunity.

There is life, and then there is summer.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

As an adult I've learned,

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will, and often.

There will be occasions that call for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

There is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.

That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again.

When life hands you lemons, squeeze them between your bitter fingers and throw them at the wall.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

I'm not cynical. I'm just experienced.

There ARE folks who are a waste of two billion years of evolution.

On your way down the banister of life, your ass may collect tons of splinters.

I hope to continue to settle my internal conflicts without bloodshed.

Most normal people worry me.

Some people are on the edge. Some people are over it. I'm hang-gliding.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

Second place is the first loser.

I just thought I'd share those few little items as a learning experience for others. I believe I've learned more but along with age come the gaps in memory that only allow great thoughts of wisdom to come to light on rare occasions.